Thank you for adding me, I am new to this board.  I have been with my BF for about 2 years.  He and XW divorced 5 years ago as she left him for a Married Man, they share a 13-year-old child.   XW was due to move out of state with MM in March of 2019 and relinquished all parenting rights (Through email, told BF she didn’t want to get the courts involved).  I told him to get an emergency full custody order when she was gone, which he did not.  BF moved into a large house with a larger monetary rent in order to have a better living arrangement for his child. 

MM dumped XW and she came back the fall of 2019, wanting primary custody back and $15,000 in back child support.  BF obtained an attorney (one I didn’t like) who told him he owes $15,000 and they are now trying to figure out custody, which has been dragging out.  I never met his XW and met his child about 3-4x (Briefly) after she left with MM.  When she came back and began demanding primary custody we decided that It would not be wise if I was around the child.   She has been poisoning son telling him that “Dad doesn’t need a GF,” and child has been/is telling BF to break up with me or he will move in with mom. 

BF and XW live in a small town, I live in the city.  XW only knows my first name and nothing else, as she had people telling her they saw us here and there.  Due to this we now do not hang out in town.  She tells child that “So and so saw your FATHER with GF” and how there is rumors that I am dating other men.  She told child that we have been spotted in public by her friends and I am going to give everyone coronavirus and she and his maternal grandmother are going to die. She now has child FaceTime BF on her custodial days to talk nonsense.  She stands behind child and BF is asked, “Where are you?” “At beach,” “R u with GF?” “No,” “Prove it,” (He has to panoramic the area) XW gets on FaceTime, announces son is staying an extra day/extra week, and “What do you care you are with your GF and our child hates her anyway.”

 *I told BF how to respond to the “Break up with her right now” statement:   "This is our time to hang out together.  GF has nothing to do with our time together so I would rather spend it talking about all the things we can do instead of wasting time talking about GF. It is not you or mom’s decision for me to break up with her.  GF is none of your business.  Your mother and I are divorced and I can hang out with anyone I want, it doesn’t affect my time with you.” And, “What do you want me to do?” “Break up with GF,” “Ok, so if I break up with GF and start dating someone else, then what?”  “You can’t have a GF,” “Why?” “I don’t know, you just can’t,” “That answer is not good enough.  Regardless of any relationship I am in, it doesn’t change my love for you.”

*My kids and I watched fireworks with BF, his child, his mother, sister and her kids last July 4.  His child keeps telling him the he ruined his fourth of July as that was time for HIS FAMILY and that I should not have been there.  (This was after mom came into the picture and he has been bringing it up again) I told BF to say: “How did her being there ruin your time?”  “I don’t know, it just did,” “How did her being there take away from your family?” “They’re my family, too. I have a right to invite anyone I want to visit with MY family.”

We also went to an amusement park last year before mom came into the picture.  Child said that BF ruined his good time as it was supposed to be “Child and dad time” I told BF to answer: “You were told prior to Amusement park that GF and her kids may go. You did not have a problem with it and you had a good time.”

Child said yesterday to BF: “You are going to move in with GF eventually so why don’t you do us a favor and move in with her right now and I will live with mom.”  I told BF to say: “I am not leaving this town.  This is my town,” - “GF can move in with you,” – “GF has a nice house in the city.  She will not be moving here.”

See my other post on family court as lawyers are involved but his lawyer is not helpful. 

Thoughts?