When do you tell them you're moving?
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We found a great house closer to the sKids. We have signed papers but haven't told them yet because we are dreading the backlash from the ex. The FOC says that legally we are required to submit address changes within 30 days after the move. For Courtesy sake we will tell the ex before then, but how long would you wait?
My Fiance wants to tell her asap, i say we should inform her just prior to the kids sleeping there. How do people generally handle this?
IMHO - knowing the bm is
IMHO - knowing the bm is going to cause a ruckus *scratches head* - I would let her know about a week before the move. That way the kids know in advance that you are moving and have a chance to be excited about it and will feel included - and you will be too busy packing to worry about bms crap. In fact I would tell the kids first and then tell the bm about it.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. Albert Einstein
Tell her while the kids are at your house
Definitely tell before you move, but make sure the kids know first. If she is going to cause problems, she is going to do it no matter when she knows. Our BM had the kids all excited about a move they were making and told them not to tell us. Then the kids kept slipping little details and then lied when we questioned them on it. BM apparently wanted to make sure the kids were well acclimated and excited about the new school district etc before she wanted DH to know. That way, even though the decree states he has decision making rights about where they attend school, he lost his input. So from that perspective, I think the mom (other parent) has a right to know as soon as the kids do, however, it would be nicer for you if you were the ones to tell them. Also, the kids wouldn't be put in the middle.
as of now
the kids know we are "thinking of moving" and that we "found one we really like" we told them we are going to be packing. They mentioned it over the phone while at their mom's house, so I am sure she has some idea. So far she hasn't said anything, but then she moved earlier this year and was looking at houses. She bought her house and had the kids working in it before she ever told their dad she was moving. Logic says she shouldn't be able to say anything, but knowing her, she will find fault no matter how we do things.
she is pretty good about accepting emails as written notification, so we will probably do that and notify the courts by a formal letter.