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Why is it always like this

Marriedwithchildren88's picture

Some days I feel like I am mentally prepared for this...other days I'm just dumbfounded by my choice.

I have two bio kids and two step children ..

My husband's children seem to be more important throughout everything .

Example

School photos I was allowed to order 1 5x7 of each of my children's photos

His daughter's comes through and he wants to buy the larger package

 

I'm pissed because I feel it's unfair 

His daughter gets her way all the time if I correct her he yells at me

My kids are here too and he always wants me to spank my son

I have to stay home with his baby and my kids are 7 and 11 his are 6 and 2 

 

I have to spend a majority of my time with his kids and mine often feel like they are put on the back burner

 

How do I deal with this anger I have building towards this and am I wrong for feeling jealous and pissed 

Wrong Way Diva's picture

wtf do you mean you were "allowed" to order 1 pic of your children?  You should be able to order the package YOU want--size depends on how many you send to family, etc.   If he is truly that controlling you should keep seperate finances and stick around here to learn.   Why do you 'Have' to stay home with his kid?

sunshinex's picture

I'm assuming you're not "allowed" because he's working while you're home with HIS kid? I would have a talk about the fact that you're contributing your fair share too. I hate hearing about situations where the SAHP gets limited in what they can buy simply because they "don't earn money." You SAVE the household money and you're just as entitled to anything coming in as he is. 

This is coming from the main breadwinner in a household with an ours kid (18-month boy) and a stepkid (7 year old girl). I stayed home for maternity leave than my husband took off work for about 8 months because we weren't ready for daycare. It made the most sense as I make 4x as much as he does. "My" money was still OUR money and anything spent on the kids was equal. Sure, I could've been an asshole and said "well, I make the money and she's not my kid" but that would make me a terrible person. 

I never limited what he could buy, what got spent on my stepdaughter or anything like that. We had a general household budget that accounted for EVERYONE. Holidays/birthdays, kids got the same amount spent on them. Who wants to build resentment in children over petty things like that? 

 

hereiam's picture

School photos I was allowed to order 1 5x7 of each of my children's photos

I'm sorry, I don't get this. Are you his wife or his child?

No, you do not have to stay home with his baby, his baby is HIS responsibility. Why do you have to spend the majority of your time with HIS kids. What kind of relationship is this, anyway?

SteppedOut's picture

He has a 2yr old. You are already married. How long have you been together and how long have you been married?

He 1000% sounds like an abusive controlling ass.

It sounds like you haven't been out of the workforce long enough to make it difficult to get a job. Get one. ASAP. Start putting aside some money. It sounds like you are going to need a fund to get you and your children the heck out of there. 

Do NOT stay in a relationship that is abusive to you and your children!!!! 

Rags's picture

Please.  Re-read your post and divorce this POS and leave her and his shallow and polluted gene pool fading in your rear view mirror.

A spouse does not "allow" another spouse to do anything.  Spouses are autonomous adults who are equity life partners.

You are not your asshole H's equity partner.  You are his live in baby sitter, chore bitch with sex benefits.

Write him off and move on with your life. 

Quit sacrificing yourself and your children on the alter of blended family martyrdom.  This guy is an Incubus sucking the life out of you and your children.  Grow some testicular fortitude and boot he and his toxic spawn to the curb.

Take care of you.  Take care of your kids.

Never tolerate this kind of crap in your life ever again.