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Disengaging more from SD13.5 - attitude

Cover1W's picture
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Additude of both YSD and DH.

I've had it.  I've always been more engaged with YSD, but she's pushing it and DH is, of course allowing it, excusing it and telling me that my opinion doesn't matter.  OK then.  I'm out.

* YSD has since the summer, every single time she's at our home for the week, been leaving face/forehead prints on windows in the living area.  DH made her clean the windows exactly one time.  I made her clean them one time.  Both times she fought us on it, says it wasn't her.  Yeah, we go around pressing our faces against the windows SD, right.  Clean them now.  The last time she left there was a print on each and every (!!) window.  I told DH I think she's doing it on purpose now and he must tell her to clean them - cue excuses.  OK then, I'm done AND I'm not cleaning the living room any longer - leaving all my stuff out.

* She has been leaving the front door unlocked again - brings back memories of OSD about whom I had battles with DH about this when he wasn't working from home.  Since DH mostly is at home, it's ok, but if he's not it needs to be locked.  And she has been leaving the front deck door unlocked too - the wind in the winter will blow those doors open if it's not deadbolted (we ALL know this).  DH basically shrugged and asked me what I wanted him to do.  I shrugged back and said, then I'm done with it.  You can deal with anything that happens because doors are left unlocked.

* Final straw someone has been messing with the thermostat (again, shades of OSD).  I told DH that I found the furnace running and locked on a higher temp than normal and it had likely been like that all day.  He had no idea how it got that way - note though that I'm not certain it wasn't him as well so I didn't fight it too hard.  I told him both the day, time and temparature were all out of what so someone was messing with it.  I did not tell him that I have the highest temp set with a code so it cannot go above a certain temp but likely whomever was messing with it was trying to get it above that set temp.  NOPE.  I cannot code a lock for the entire thing, but I'm going to re-set it tonight and if it's messed with again - helloooo lock box over the thermostat.  Our bill is going to be high this month. Not again.

Ispofacto's picture

The door from our kitchen mudroom to the garage would blow open if it wasn't latched, and the weather proofing around it prevented it from latching properly unless it was given an extra shove.  We had to install a heavy duty springloaded door closer to prevent it from happening.

 

TrueNorth77's picture

I came home yesterday and SS13 had the thermostat turned up to 80. 80!!!! I told him no more messing with the heat, it was turned up to 80 (I pay the heat bill), and he said "oh I thought I only turned it up to 77". As if that's ok!!! I said, we we only turn it up to 71 or 72. He better not even dream of trying that again!

TrueNorth77's picture

This was the first time he's done it- they get home a few hours before us, and to be fair the house is pretty cold from the heat being turned down all day so I kind of just assumed he didn't know how to work the thermostat, but 80??? One of my biggest pet-peeves about skids (i know this is just a kid thing in general) is having no awareness or care that things cost money. 25 min showers? Sure! Curtains drawn and lights on when it's A sunny day? Why not, it's not their money! Drives me insane. 

Cover1W's picture

Yep, have the doing a teensy tiny load of laundry two days after she does a normal load because she wants the ONE pair of pants she'll wear (she's refusing to wear a size 12 and forces herself into size 8 - they are leggings but jeeeez are they tight and short - BUT NOT MY problem!).  I gave up talking with DH about it totally.

Cover1W's picture

This happened with OSD - I came home to be greeted by a blast of hot air as I opened the front door.  That's when I installed the thermo with a (coded) high temp setting. Only I have that code.  I wanted a 'smarter' thermo but our house's wiring is too old for the newer kind.  Bummer.  Old school lock boxes work too!

Cover1W's picture

Third time since Friday heat was turned up again. DH said, "I don't know..." So I'm going to town today and getting a lock box to cover thermo.

Harry's picture

That cab only be set with a code. That are linked to the internet.  You can see the temperature on your phone.  You c an adjuster the temperature by your phone.  Also new internet routers on the market where by your phone you can turn off any phone , tablet by your phone ,

Cover1W's picture

yeah, if your house is wired with contemporary wiring - ours is too old.  Tried this already.

momjeans's picture

It’s bad enough that I play the thermostat game with DH, I cannot even imagine having to do it with skid. She’d be in literal tears because I’d verbally obliterate her. 

I’m laughing at the visual of a thermostat lock box. Ah... tears. 

strugglingSM's picture

One of my SSs recently ripped a button off of my couch and both claimed it wasn't them...um, I know it wasn't me and DH wasn't downstairs. 

They also love to leave handprints on our windows and on all of our walls. Sometimes I feel like I have toddler SSs instead of teens, because really, I thought only toddlers felt the need to press their hands up to a window. Simliar to pressing a forehead onto a window...what teen does that? I've decided, however, that teens are like just like toddlers. Last weekend, DH insisted we all carve pumpkins together. Both SSs whined "why won't you let me be independent?!" when DH started cleaning out the insides of their pumpkins for them, because they wanted to do it themselves. Then immediately upon starting, both started whining about needing a different tool or a bowl, to which I replied, "if your'e being independent you need to get those things yourself" then one stopped and said, "this is too hard! how could I ever do this on my own?!" Why yes, SS, you couldn't, which is why your dad was going to help you. All I could think of was a two year old saying, "I do it myself!!" when being helped into shoes, coats, etc, and then dropping into a pile of teams and tantrums when they were unsuccessful. The problem with teens is that they are not cute, so they can't get away with being brats as easily as a 2 year old. 

I too have a DH who does not adequately parent, leaving me to yell at him later and him to tell me I'm just being mean to him. Um, no DH, if you would just parent your children, I wouldn't have to be mad at you for allowing them to destroy the home that you claim you want to sell. No one wants to buy a home with a bunch of teen handprints everywhere....not to mention a hole in the drywall in a spare room that neither of them should have been in to begin with!!!