Hi All,

I am getting married in August and my fiancé has a 24 and a 27 year old daughter. I have 14 year old twin girls. My Fiancé and I moved in together, with my girls, at the begging of this month. So far things have been going fairly well. My Fiancé is wonderful with my girls and they really like him. It is still hard for them because they say he makes them feel badly about their bio dad because their dad is not terribly well emotionally and my Fiance is very solid and loving to them. All in all, so far so good.

Sooo.... we just got engaged on Friday and his daughters have not said one word to me or their dad to congratulate us or even acknowledge it happened. Their dad has spoken to them numerous times and they simply have chosen to pretend it did not happen. His younger daughter has been very disrespectful (not showing up to Father's Day brunch that I made, being half hour late to his birthday dinner at his favorite restaurant, coming to Thanksgiving for 10 minutes to take pictures with her dad and then leaving)and has also said some things to one of my daughters that was terribly hurtful and cruel.

Their dad is the one who suggested that I disengage and not reach out to them. I know he means it and I love him for it. I am worried at how it will ultimately effect our relationship. I feel so much resentment that they us like this and I have a feeling it will come to a head sooner than later.

How do I find the balance of being kind to them when they are here and also not letting them step on me. I am not willing to be fake with them nor give up my pride. I already told him that his daughter not being nice to my daughter will create a situation where she is not welcome in our home (also my daughters' home).

I want to nip this in the bud before it gets out of control.