SS dropped off at any time
Hello everyone. I’ve read the posts on this site for months and just now made an account. This post may be long so I apologize in advance but my step son is dropped off at our home constantly. My DH is a non custodial parent. With that being said my DH’s step mother passed away. The wake was yesterday and the funeral today. SS was dropped off at 10 pm Thursday night. He is sick and hadn’t been to the doctor so they pick him up Friday taking him to the doctor the drop him off again after finding out he has strep. Well we have to take him to the wake which ends up with him following me the entire time. I had told my son I was coming to stay and my Dh made me late getting there. I didn’t even attend the funeral because I knew it would be me having to watch him. He’s 10 btw if I haven’t mentioned it. I just have so much to say that I’m afraid I can’t get my point through. Lol It’s just that this kid is allowed to do whatever he wants. Personally I think he should have stayed home with him being sick and i stated that to my hubby more than once but he’s dropped off at our home anytime he wants. Whenever school is called off you can guarantee he’ll be there. It’s cutting in on our time together and my DH is stressed about it but it always leads to an argument between us. Any advice would be appreciated because if things don’t change this is going to end my marriage. I love my husband very much but it’s so hard to find the right words to talk to him. I feel like I’m an on call free babysitter.
Time to tell your SO that his
Time to tell your SO that his kid does not come to your home or anywhere your family is other than on the COd visitation schedule without your prior approval.
End of problem, end of discussion.
The NCP can refuse even court ordered visitation much less bullshit lazy CP drop offs of sick kids. As the SParent you have no duty to accept any presence of a Skid in your home, particularly when it is invasive, clearly CP manipulation and for damned sure if it is not in alignment with the visitation schedule stipulated in a CO giving your SO visitation rights.
The NCP and the NCP's spouse and family are not the CP's beck and call child care service. Your SO pays CS to the CP to provide care and to be the custodial parent. SO should not accept anything less from his X. After all, she is compensated for that position not the other way around.
Thank you
Thank you so much. I’m gonna lay it out to him just like you said. I’m good at giving advice but when it comes to myself in a situation it’s hard to find the words. Just needed some good advice.
Just my thoughts of course. Keep it simple
Simple is best in most blended family situations. No need to make it more complex or invasive of life than it already is.
Good luck.
Take care of you.
Thanks
I will sure try. Of course there’s more going on than I stated. I didn’t feel like writing a book. Lol Hopefully we can keep it simple.
Thank you
I’m not sure if there’s any visitation schedule set up for him in their case but I’m gonna check into it. I do know she tried to get child support but one of the workers knew my husband and the ex and since she doesn’t even keep her kid they wouldn’t allow her to sue him for CS. SS stays with the BM’s parents. Usually they would drop him off on the weekends but anymore it’s the weekends and anytime there’s no school and if it strikes the SS10 to come down even if there is school he’s there. Thank you for your advice. I’m definitely going to put it to use.
I can relate to this
I can relate to this situation a lot. My stepson's BM is so lazy and doesn't like to keep him anytime there is a break from school. Especially Thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break. Then she turns around and cries to DH talking about she's sad she never gets to see her son on holidays.
I used to literally make my work schedule around SS schedule however it was becoming too much on me to keep him all the time whenever BM wants so she can go on trips and party. I just had a baby in January so of course my new baby is my priority. I put my foot down and told DH that SS only needs to be at our house on DH days off work. I also told him we only needed to pick up SS at BM's request if she let us know ahead of time (unless of course due to emergency situations). It took a few conversations but eventually I got through to him and now I am enjoying all my time with my baby boy as my only focus! I hope you can have a similar conversation with tour husband and get through to him, good luck!!
DH is the parent
He takes care of SS. SS is not by you unless DH can take care of him. You have to approve SS coming over. You must have SS free weekends . You must have date night.