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Teenager Job

Boocrew's picture

I have a child that just turned 16, and this child wants to get there first job soon.   Parents live 1.5 hours apart and child does not live in my home full time.    I currently get standard visitation alternating weekends and 1/2 summer break with alternation holidays.    What has me concerned is.... the mother who has the child full time does not support the child working part-time job during the school week for the child struggles at keeping their grades up.  So that leaves the weekends for the child to work.   I am beside myself for when school season starts back up and I can only have alternating weekends for parenting time I am afraid the child or their mother will calling to inform me child is on work schedule and I will not get my ordered parenting time.

Guidelines posted in Indiana do not cover Teenager and there first jobs interfering with Schedule Visitation.   My heart is breaking at the thought that losing my time.

There is really bad history between the parents to where the guidelines are adhered to the letter.

 

Any thoughts would be helpful of what do I do to support my spouse as he goes through this situation.

ESMOD's picture

It is going to be tough for the kid to get a job that is weekend only.. Is the child driving? and do they have a car at their disposal?  if they find a job in between the two homes.. then perhaps it won't be a huge issue for the child to make visitation.

I will say that my sD's did have less visitation when their work and extra curr activities started to interfere.. but we were 3 hours apart one way.

I am all for kids working too.. but one that hasn't been doing well in school.. perhaps they need to focus on that and forget about the job for now given their limited time available.

Boocrew's picture

Child is not driving.

 

Child in question had to go to summer school to make up for poor performence durning the school year.

 

I am afraid of child forming bad feelings about visiting and not wanting to return.   Currently Child is in good standings with me.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

If you only see your child alternating weekends, those visits should come before a job. A child having a job does not change the custody order - they still need to come to your house on their scheduled weekends. I realize this may be difficult as the child gets older, but your time is already limited and made more difficult do to the distance involved. Stay strong and insisit on taking your custody time.

Boocrew's picture

I have spoken to a lawyer seeking advice.... it seems like a lost cause to inforce the visitation if the child wants to work.   They say the child now at age 16 has a voice.  There also does not seem to be examples of what to do in indiana parenting guidelines on this subject.

Survivingstephell's picture

At 16, the skid is no longer little and needs to spread his wings to keep on the track of growing towards independence.  A job will help with that.  It is the evolution of parenting.  You adjust as the kids grow up.  You can't stop them from this but you can really set them back if you stop them from reaching benchmarks.  This might be a good opportunity to use it as a carrot to get those grades up, learn to drive and manage his paycheck.  It's all in how you approach it.  

Rags's picture

No is a complete conversation.  Get a killer lawyer and nail BM with a contempt motion every time she fails to surrender DD for your visitation.