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Being Belittled...

Tamara125's picture

Anybody else strugggling with Constantly being belittled by their step children?

i have three step children. Eldest is 15, 16 next month. He criticises my cooking, doesn't listen when I ask him to do something, and belittles me in front of everyone and anyone. 
 

He was an only child until 10. I am childless, so have got to the point where I cannot bare being around him in my home. I opt for sitting in my room reading, whilst he dominates what we watch on TV and whilst he sits in the prime sofa spot watching tiktoks. I blew up a few weeks ago, told him he was not to come here and that I felt like I had a foreign exchange student who I couldn't wait to leave - except he always comes back. 
 

we have the SK every three days near enough, and my partner has refused that he will not be coming here as does not want to make him feel awkward. I'm 27, and he says that his Sons behaviour is 'banter' and he is just a teenager. 
 

he hasn't lifted a finger in his whole life. Doesn't know how to make a bed, clear the kitchen, walk a dog..! His list of pocket money jobs are endless. He does none of them, and my partner still transfers him £20 when he needs something. 
 

I try to think logically that he's only in my life on a full time basis for another 3 years, when he might cart off to uni. But what if e doesn't? What if I have my own childrenAND his brothers turn exactly like him. 
 

spoon fed, only child like SK are seriously testing

Rags's picture

This won't end in three years. Your SO is a failed father, a serially failed partner and a failed man.  He will cater to this toxic failed family breeding experiment for the rest of his life and the rest of this relationship.  Do not go swimming in this shallow and polluted gene pool any longer.

Past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.  Make it absolutely clear to your SO that this kid will never be in any home that you live in. PERIOD!!!!  Do not tolerate any belittling from this kid. When he pulls his crap ask his father when he (daddy) is going to find his balls and deal with the lippy POS spawn.  Do not tolerate your SO making excuses for the toxicity of his behaviorally polluted progeny and do not tolerate your SO gas lighting you into thinking this is your issue.

Do yourself a favor, move on. Leave this shallow and polluted gene pool in your rear view mirror and enjoy your new life adventure free of this nightmare. Do not risk polluting  your own gene pool by spawning with this a-hole.  Find a partner of quality to be a true father to your children and to make your life with. A partner who will raise your children to respect  his wife... and their own mother.

Take care of you.

NotCinderellasmom's picture

I t;hought the same thing. It will be over in 3 years but usually they treat others like they treat you so the only one that will be bothered with their toxicity if DH

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Your SO doesn't respect you at all, does he? 

Why are you okay with being reduced to living this way? Why are you just accepting this? 

Your SO is a terrible, awful, enabling parent who is fine with you being miserable as long as he's happy. You're just the cook, maid, and bedwarmer, and nothing will change unless/until you assert yourself.

I was a doormat for a long time. When I finally had enough, my bi!ch switch flipped. I put on my thigh-high bi!ch boots, grabbed a whip and a chair (figuratively), and scared the hell out of my alpha male H. I didn't care if we divorced or not, and he could see that I was out of f©cks to give about his horrible baggage. That was several years ago, and guess what? My life is peaceful. And my H respects me. 

Quit cooking, cleaning, and giving up your status as an adult in your home. Take back your authority, tell that brat to get the hell off your couch, and get good and mad with your arse of a SO. If you want things to change, it starts with you.

Rags's picture

Bravo!

Your name makes a lot of sense after this information.

Guilfoyle's picture

I'm in the middle of doing the same. I have it to her about her daughter. She is a rude lazy turd. Nasty, vindictive, revengeful and spiteful. I don't care if a divorce goes through. Wife kicked me out but I left with a fight. I have threatened her to take her house and I also told the stepdaughter that this is what's going to happen now. I gave it to all of them. I even said to the stepdaughter "are you happy my 2 year old doesn't have a father anymore'? Bitch.

I couldn't care less so let's see what wifey is going to do now. Maybe she will finally realise that wake up call to address her adhd problem daughter and how she treats me. Parting words from wife were tears and that now she has to do it all herself. Raise 3 kids. She kicked me out cause she couldn't handle me telling her to parent her better.

SCmom's picture

My SO caters to his kids at every turn. Tantrums make it even worse. He bends at their will. He is a good partner to me and really tries. Truly. I just don't know what will make the kids more inclusive and accepting. It puts him in the middle when they act differently when I'm around. It makes me disengage and then he is mad at me for stepping away. But I don't want to be a part of the disrespect and negativity. How do I stand up for myself without rocking the boat?

Rags's picture

Abandon ship... before you suffer the fate of passengers of the Titanic.

Find a partner without the toxic spawn of a failed family.

Guilfoyle's picture

If it's just banter as he says and it is upsetting you then the banter has to stop. 
I too get the belittling about my cooking when everyone at the dinner table loves my food. 
stepdaghter throws it in the bin and then wife lets her cook herself something laters when the kitchen has been cleaned up by me and is closed. She leaves all the pots and pans in the sink. I get so angry.