I can' even look at or think about my step daughter without getting mad
Here's the skinny, six years ago I would have thought I had the best step kids in the world but in the past year my oldest kid (13 y/o step daughter) has been nothing but a problem. Both my wife and I are both in the military and she deployed last summer...let the problems begin! I was a single parent of 4 children (2 step/2 bio). She started faking injuries and saying some things I would rather not post. Things got so bad I had her admitted to a behavioral facility. She the had CPS called on me which could mess with my job and my clearance. The military ha to bring my wife back from Afghanistan to help deal with her. Nothing has gotten any better, she was readmitted. In the past two weeks she has threaten lives of her mom and bio brother. Again we had to send her away. I try to tell m wife she needs to stay with her bio dad but she' the mom and hates him so you can imagine how she felt.
We are getting ready to move and you know what, I don't want her t come with us. The family is so much happier (and safer) without her here. She is not responsible or trustworthy (thou turning 14 next month). She is setting a bad example for the other 3 kids in the house. I have been so supportive of her since the day she came into my life but I'm done now. My wife is her mother and I love all our children including her but I just can't stomach her right now and I'm one of those people who have a hard time forgiving especially when I have given so much. This is affecting both of or jobs and the other kids. Am I wrong for wanting her gone?
BTW we have and still do go to counseling but its just not working...thank you for letting me vent!
I don't see any reason on the
I don't see any reason on the face of this earth that you should have to take care of her when your wife is deployed. Not your child.
My SS had to spend over 3 years in juvie lockup starting at 15. You cannot allow a dangerous person to stay in a home with other children.
When she's a danger to your
When she's a danger to your livelihood, your wife's livelihood and it sounds like the physical safety of members of the family as well as potentially your freedom if her accusations to CPS get bad enough... of course you aren't wrong for wanting her gone. No one wants a threat to their family to be around much less living in the house. If her accusations to CPS you could potentially lose the other kids or wind up in jail.
If dad is a safe and stable option, I'd agree she should go there since it seems your wife's deployment was a pretty big trigger. Maybe the kid needs more stability and continuity than a military family life can provide. I get that it would be incredibly hard for your wife to send her to dad but this isn't about your wife, this is about your SD and the rest of the family. Wife may hate her ex, but she needs to love her kid more and think about what is actually. Best for everyone involved.
Thanks for all your comments
Thanks for all your comments and I don't think its the military life, she is just a lazy, selfish child. Doesn't want to do anything but wants the world. Maybe its so hard for me because I never was a problem to my parents and never spoke back (My dad would have killed me). I think I have only disliked one person more in my life and that's said because she is really smart and until last year was a normal spoiled kid.
As for the comment about I shouldn't have to take care of a child that's not mine, I have to disagree, I knew my wife had kids when I met her and choose to marry her anyway. I want to show her tough love by sending her to her dad so she realizes how good se has it but wifey...well I leave it at that.