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Need advice on my stepdaughters

Nora Johnson's picture

I have two stepdaughters that hate me I've been with there father for 7 years  and married to him for 3years. They have stole  from me verbally attacked me.my husband had to kick the 18 year old out for attacking me after having back surgery. Now she wants to move back in am I in the wrong for not wanting her to move back in.i don't want to lose my marriage over this I feel that I shouldn't have to be disrespected like this or go thur the abuse that she puts me thur am I in the wrong for feeling  this way. Please help any advice  would help.

tog redux's picture

Wait, your DH will divorce you if you don't allow his 18 yo who assaulted you to move back in? Or do you just think he will push it that far? 

hereiam's picture

My husband is not perfect but there is no way he would even consider his daughter living with us if she had abused me.

Did she physically attack you?

Why does she want to move in? Your husband felt he had good reason to kick her out, why would it end your marriage if you say that she cannot move back in? Does he want to allow her to move back in?

 

HowBoutScottyDont's picture

Even if she apologized every which way, she should not be moving back into your home. Physical or verbal, she has a track record of not respecting you and mistreating you.

This would be a hard no for me, and if DH pushed it, I would make it very clear that if she moved in, I would be moving out and hiring a divorce lawyer.

Pammyc27's picture

You are absolutely not wrong. Before my SD14 was hospitalized for  making terrible threats against others and herself I was about to leave and go stay elsewhere. There were threats about drinks being poisoned and killing someone in their sleep. No way. I was about to pack my bags until she got admitted that night. Your SD needs help and if your dh even considers allowing her back that would tell you all you need to know. Jeez. Being attacked is a very big deal. A traumatic event even. What a difficult situation. 

marblefawn's picture

Your husband is wrong for even suggesting this SD move in.

He cannot manage his kid, who does not know how to behave, so why, WHY would he think this is a good idea even if you DID agree to it???

SD had her chance. He doesn't have to disown her, but for him to think he should even ask this of you shows he can't or hasn't or won't see if from your point of view.

So help him see it from your point of view:

When he asks, you say very sweetly and with a hint of disbelief that he'd even ask such a ridiculous question, "Honey, she attacked me when I was down and vulnerable. No one stopped her. What kind of crazy would I have to be to agree to let her live with us again?" (Insert a little chuckle of disbelief here.) "There would have to be something emotionally or intellectually wrong with me to ever agree to that again." Then walk away with a gait that says, "Conversation closed."

Don't even give him the space for discussion. You just act like this is the craziest idea you ever heard and change the subject. After what she pulled, you do not owe either of them a moment of consideration on this point. Period. If he is too stupid to see this is an awful idea, then you must be the adult in the household.

Winterglow's picture

Is your DuH intellectually or emotionally challenged? Only an idiot or someone with no common sense would even think of asking such a thing...

Yoiu have the right to feel safe in your home, insist on it! And the only way to do that is refuse to let the dishonest brute that is your SD move back in. 

Finally, who the hell CARES if they think you're the bad guy if you get what you want?

RLZ0073's picture

next time that twerp attacks you, call the cops and press charges. They’re 18, they’re an adult in the eyes of the law. And when they’re being arrested, you can ask the officer to ask the judge for a Protective Order when they take that evil girl to probable cause court. That will keep them out of the house for a while.

Rags's picture

"am I in the wrong for not wanting her to move back in"

No, you are not wrong for denying access to your home to a violent criminal who has proven that she is violent towards you.

Do not question the blatantly obvious.  No more access to your home for any adult who is this big of a POS even if, sadly,  they are the product of your DH's loins.

smh.