Unruly SS and nothing helps him, any ideas?
Ok, this is the first time I have tried a forum. His name is Christian and he is 14. At the start of the school year he went down hill. Majorly! By september he got on the roof because I took his PS3 privledges away. He was there for almost 4 hours and we had to call the cops and his therepist and the fire dept. A few weeks later he threw something at my 2 yr old and he threw a lava lamp at me. He has been in trouble at school, he has talked about sex with his gf, and he just turned 14 a few months ago! I dont think that he has done anything and he isnt the type to drink or do drugs, its hard to explain how i know, i just do. He is calling my 2 year old names, like ugly and asking him if he is retarded and he steals things from stores, little things like gum and steals money from his sisters that they get for their bday and he is now stealing keychains from me, he hides food in his room and sneaks downstairs at night to play video games. He doesnt pack a lunch for school and then comes home and makes 2 sandwiches so now he has to eat in front of us because he throws away his food. Its just one thing after another. Most of the time its little things but it adds up. I have always wanted to help him but i feel I cant help him. I feel like he just needs some real punishment. What theat is I dont know. We have tried emptying his room of everything but his bed and clothes, we cut his shaggy hair to a military haircut, we ground him take away privledges, got him a counselor, the counselor got him on meds. He did a little better on the meds for about a week and that was it. He doesnt have ADD or ADHD, and there isnt anything going on with him other than him being such an ass. I know that he is 14 but violence and complete disrespect for the rules of this household and for me, is not something I will deal with. His father agrees but we just dont know what else we can do. Any ideas are greatly appreciated.
i agree he's an ass. Take
i agree he's an ass. Take away all his privilges. All of them. Make him earn them back one by one. Make sure he really earns them. You may have to alter your environment. Put up your household video games so its not an option for him to sneak anywhere and play them. Put a padlock on the fridge and pantry if you dont want him having a free for all. Next time he climbs his happy ass on the roof let him sit there. He'll get bored and hungry and come down. If he throws something at you, destroys property, hurts anyone, call the police
This kid needs some tough
This kid needs some tough love and a reality check. You HAVE to provide a roof over his head; but not his own room, that is a prvilege. You HAVE to feed him but it doesn't have to be what he wants. You HAVE to clothe him but not designer duds. Catch my drift?
He needs to realize what he has. Have you thought about taking him to a food bank or help at a homeless shelter? Or is he unable to do something like that?
Last night we admitted him to
Last night we admitted him to a psych ward. I thing its crap. I think he is all playing a game, yea a game that is gonna cost us big money, even with our insurance, his dad thinks so too, but he keeps telling ppl "he wants to hurt himself" he just comes out and says it
The thing about him is that
The thing about him is that we do give him consistancy, he knows exactly what is gonna happen and he knows im not going anywhere. I have never waivered at all. I like the idea of the boot camp. and the door off the hinges, i think when he gets home that is gonna be exactly what he comes home to. I know that I dont want to pay 3k for him to be playing a joke. I went through a lot of problems when i was a kid and mine wasnt a joke. It really makes me mad that i even have to guess that his might be, because there are many ppl out there that really need help.
He finally said that he wanted to live with his mother last night, and Im thinking to myself "thank god" I feel bad for thinking that way because I do care about where he ends up in life, but in the same light he makes this household so hard to live in! His mother is a peice of work, she taught him how to make blow torches out of aresol cans when he was 8 because she wanted him to be able to protect himself. Someone on the internet had convinced her that she was of fairy blood and she had magical powers and because she was so powerful, ppl were comming after her and they would kill her kids.
She isnt like that anymore, at least as far as we can tell, but that is the type of personthat she is. Even though she is crazy I still just wanna ssend him there and not have to deal with the way he treats everyone here.
Is it normal to just want him to go away? Morally i feel horible, but living with him is getting so bad.
DS pulled that too!! Costed
DS pulled that too!! Costed us over 2k!
I feel your pain,Im having
I feel your pain,Im having the same problem with my SS,and all because he wants to live with his mom!!!!..trust me If I could pack his bags I would in a heartbeat,he has no respect for me at all,he keeps telling my SD that he really hates me,I have told him time after time,Im the one that is here for you,cook's cleans puts a roof over your head,even his dad tell's him what I do,it makes no difference,he just want's to be with his mom,I hate living with him full stop,he makes it so hard for all of us.
Yesterday he was confronted about cleaning his room,as there was a nasty smell coming from his room,he just glared at me,as if to say drop dead,well the next thing he did was put his coat and hat on and said Im running away,I could say that I dont care,but Im the one that is looking afterhim while his dad is working,needless to say it was another night of trying to explain why he lives with us,and also reminded him that he choose to live with us his SDAD was beating his ass!!!!!,I have never raised my hand to him in the 3 years he has been here,and neither has my husband.
I think these children need bootcamp,and then maybe just maybe they will see how good they have it,,or maybe there is a bootcamp for us stepmom's and dad,I take that back not bootcamp,just somewhere nice to go,without the skids..
My 13 year old SD is the same
My 13 year old SD is the same way. I wish I had answers.
Well, you have to remember
Well, you have to remember that he doesnt live here, he lives in FL and we live in NC and I would only have to see him like 3 times a year, but he is so bad that I dont want him in my house period. It is still a possibility that his dad will go get him on saturday and so I have to go out in the next few days bc I am gonna get a door handle with a key lock for my bedroom. I shouldnt have to do that in my own house. I cant lock the fridge , dss will be here, if I slap him the police will be here bc in the divorce ppapers I cant lay a hand on him. I just dont know what I can do. I figure i let him come here on sat and push him over the edge until he breaks and never wants to come back, of course that will impact DH and I, but I wont live with it
it all comes from bad
it all comes from bad parenting if these bio parents would do what there suppose to do our lives would be easier and these children would be better,stop giving in to these devil kids and babying them,and i believe that there bullcrap would come to a end!!!a kid will push just to see how far you will go,,im tired of fighting over my ss to the point i want to leave for good and just be single or find someone who has no kids ,let her have her satans spawn,maybe she can find some other smuck to deal with his crap or she can deal with it herself!!! im realizing lifes to freakin short to be stressed out about a kid thats is obviously a loser,if it dont get better do what i will end up doing leave!!!!