Disengagement FAIL
I don't have many of these but today I messed up with my stepdaughter. My husband is at a conference today and asked if I could take her to/from camp adn I agreed to, its no big deal. my husband arranged the camp which is great, thats something I used to do and now he does it.
When I picked her up I asked her who was coming to the pool party this weekend. There aren't many kids her age in our neighborhood and we thought it'd be good for her to make some new friends at this camp, she said the girls were really nice. It should be up to her to get numbers, invite people, etc. My husband doesn't want to be arranging playdates for a 12 year old!
We suggested she make some invitations this week and she said she would but she didn't. So when I asked her about the pool party she said "no one's coming, no one has a phone" blahblahblah a bunch of excuses and I said something like "that's a bummer since this was an opportunity for you to make some new friends and now you have no way of contacting any of those girls you said you liked."
She shot me a nasty look and now I know I'll pay for it later. She'll complain to her mom and her mom will complain to my husband and he better not say anything to me about it because I will flip my lid!
I just wish I'd kept my damn mouth shut. Dammit!
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I don't think this is a fail.
I don't think this is a fail. You had a conversation with her. You didn't parent her. That's just what it is.
& if she shoots you dirty looks, you can always call her out. "Wow, what a horrible look to give someone. What was that all about? Sheesh". People do passive aggressive stuff (smart comments, dirty looks) because they think no one will call them out on it. A lot of times when they do, all that awkwardness & dread YOU feel gets put right back on to them. At least that's what I've found.
I wish I was that quick on my
I wish I was that quick on my feet, QB! I'll try that next time. I guess your right, it wasn't parenting per say.
Thank you that's good advice.
Thank you that's good advice. I'm all riled up today obvs. I need to relax! I won't make a big deal about it. I'll remember that going forward too, good advice!
You did nothing wrong. You
You did nothing wrong. You were being nice and helpful.
I would of asked what that look was for and to refrain from giving that look to me again.
And honestly, who cares what BM says. Its a shame your DH foes not shut that type of behavior from BM down. Does the child no good.
SD5 often comes home from
SD5 often comes home from school saying "no one likes me/will play with me" etc. Over the months, I tried sympathizing with her, would talk to her, give advice, ideas etc, but she always gave excuses and of course it was always everyone else's fault.
After a while I gave up and started giving it to her straight. "You're bossy!" (that's the reason my kids or the cousins don't play with her)
SO had to contact BM about some issues, when BM brought that up "by the way, SD is very upset, something about M.Duck telling her kids don't play with her cause she's bossy"
I told SO to text back "it's true, she is bossy. What of it?!" (Lol, yeah I know, poking the bear!)
He replied, "SD says some things here as well (which is true), I figure she just looking for sympathy or to play us off the other" BM didn't reply to that.
What you said wasn't mean at all, SD just needs some big girl panties lol