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Maybe we have to give it a go every once in a while to remind us?

SMto2's picture

This is what I said in response to a comment last year on my blog where I was so happy to have stopped our annual vacation with SS30, SDIL29, and SGDs 11 &  9 where DH & I pay for everything, do everything, and they don't lift a finger. (I also have SS29, who's mostly absent unless it's  Christmas or he wants something from DH.) I haven't posted since this time last year because, for the most part, I have remained disengaged, so my tolerance for the situation had improved.

DH and I talked about what we do moving forward

used2beRutherford's picture

After a lot of discussion, we have come to the mutual decision that Starry is no longer welcome at our house. DH is still very upset with her and is not OK with her hanging out in our home. 

Works for me.

Full disengagement from her also works for me. I am not willing to speak to her unless its absolutely necessary. 

If the grandkids want to come over, that is fine. We (or more likely DH) will go pick them up at their house and bring them here. This way we can drop them back off and Starry does not have to come here. 

Needing to vent

HL892's picture

Nothing new. Just very anxious. Of course all week it has been the usual. DH spends about 30-60 min with our almost 2 year old and that's about it. If you want to call it "spending time" it's her and I playing and he is sitting on the floor or couch next to us on his phone. I've started taking pictures of this, not sure if it counts as documentation or proof if I end up in court one day. Today, he goes out with his friend to golf for the morning. My daughter and I go to church. We then get home and he had went to the gym. She goes down for a nap and he goes to do other things for 3 hours.

Well I was semi right plus some extra.

MissK03's picture

So as expected BM took SS21 out Friday to drink with him for his 21st. She didn't pick him up though had him drive... naturally. He met her at her dive social club she is a part of... called that... then to another bar... He was home at 9:45.

He comes in, comes right up to our room to show SO the glass mug BM got him... it's like he's 5... It's a $25 Amazon mug that you can have to customized... nothing special... 

Hygiene — this shouldn’t be a problem, right?

Hastings's picture

The summer has been going well so far. No more good in the room (I suspect DH finally found the right sensitive spot by taking away gym visits with BM). SS13 is here pretty much all day, but is in his room, so we rarely see him. Still, I'm keeping track of how long until school starts. Only two more weeks with us.

Not A Love TKO - confirmations

CLove's picture

Greetings lovely Steptalkers. The summer over here has been quite nice, one day drifting gently into another. The mornings are cloudy and cool, the afternoons sunny and warm. Our little enclave has become a bit more famous for things such as a Monaco Billionaire and a super stud actor, but really nothing much changes. The tourist crowds and those seeking shelter from the interior US heat have decended.

It's Time for Me to Fully Disengage. 20 years of this bullshit is long enough

used2beRutherford's picture

However, I don't want to disengage from the grandkids, just from Starry. Any ideas for how to navigate through this was would be much appreciated.

A few things I am going to do immediately...

1. Stop taking her phone calls.

2. Stop reading and responding to her texts.

3. Never be around her without my husband or her husband present.

4. Find a new hairdresser. She is sooooo fired.

5. Find a new nail tech (because the one I go to now is at Starry's salon). I will have to get my pedicures elsewhere.