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Recent Blog Posts
We just planted back at home after a spur of the moment 2100 mile road trip to one of our happy places.
My bride finished tax season late afternoon on Tuesday April 15th. For those of us in the USA, this is both an auspicious day and an infuriating one. Tax day! For those in the accounting/tax profession it is the day that ends the brutal 80hr/wk tax season that starts in mind to late January.
Haven't checked in with an update for a while.
We left off with SD not speaking with DH for reasons unknown. They now text, but short interactions a few times a week.
And SS was looking for a job, discouraged that the 6-figure jobs weren't being laid out in front of him. He finally did get a job with a good salary, but shy of six figures. So he's been BUSY. Hasn't called DH for weeks.
It all started with just trying to schedule a time to call SD which SURPRISE was met with difficulty as it has been continuously for several months now. BM kept oversharing about her work instead of giving a time/date to call SD this weekend. So DH finally told her to stop oversharing when she refused to share any information about SD when the school and therapist were contacting DH out of concern for SD's mental and physical wellbeing. Guess what happened? She went off about things from 5+ years ago, dragging me into it claiming I talked shit about her, etc.
I've known a SM or two who have been through this--the ex-wife loses it (more) when her ex dies. I used to dread the thought here of BM and the skids' possible behavior if something happened to DH; I don't think about it much anymore.
Happy Friday, STalkers! It's been a hot minute since we've had an Eff Off Friday. Definitely overdue!
Eff off to:
SD63 has been quiet the past few months. We see her early each month when she pays us her share of "rent" and cuts DH's hair. For months now, we've seen her hands trembling. I know she also had some kind of heart issue identified during a December hospital visit. She was supposed to schedule further testing but never did.
She called Tuesday, had an appointment with her primary that day but car trouble. I offered to take her since DH87 is not up to travel to unfamiliar destinations. The trip was "eventful" in typical SD fashion with wrong exits, confusion and all the rest.
BM has been silent about SS13's therapy since she sent the initial email a few months ago, simply telling DH she was enrolling SS in therapy for "anxious thoughts" and providing the therapist name/phone number, along with the insane out of pocket price, because this therapist is private pay only. DH responded that he was in disagreement with using a private pay therapist.
I've managed to avoid being in the same space as BM for about 8 years, but I broke my streak this weekend. OSD had a sorority event that she invited XH, DD, and me to. I should have asked, but I just assumed BM wasn't coming because in the past OSD has always given me a warning and BM also hasn't been super involved in anything to do with SDs' University. I don't know if BM decided to come at the last second or what, but she was one of the first people we saw when we walked into the venue.
My stepdaughter is 7 almost 8, and since the beginning I’ve realized that she is a people pleaser to please her mom. Biomom is a nightmare. She is the epitome of toxic and narcissistic. Wretched is the word that comes to mind. At the beginning of my relationship with SO she would scream obscenities at me from her car during pick up and drop off of my stepdaughter. The first nine months of our relationship were that way until finally I guess she realized the only way I would communicate or engage with her is if there was some civility.
BM worked hard to create mutual dependence between/among herself and the skids. The enmeshment with SD in particular has been like nothing I've seen. For years, I likened "BM's world" to a cocoon inhabited by the three of them. SS was at times an outlier, but it appears that he, now in his late 30s, has fully entered the fold. Like he's going backwards.
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