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O/T - your life as a movie

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 6:56am

Some how I got challenged on this site lol, cause I told some one else to write book and make millions,

I think all of us can write a movie about our step hell... now this blog is for fun, live out your fantasies, short description of story line and give your cast..... mine is based on what I see on telly, not how they really are

Aergia - Younger version of Paris Hilton

SO - Adam Sandler (forever the child does not want to grow up and parent)
Me - Keira Nightly
Deigma - Matthew Broderick as in ferris beulers day off...
BM - Glenn Close or Meryl Steep

Story: Step mother who lives in hell with a bratty daughter from divorce, she soon discover the daughter and BM is not all there and have this sort of black widow thing going on, bodies will be buried in the wood lands/desert.. and SM will do her best to bring their deceit to lite without upsetting her spineless husband who's being poisoned by his daughter with arsenic in small dozes... and SM has to proof this as well, she finds clues that indicates her and gets rid of it every time just before police knocks on her door with a search warent...

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ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 8:11am

I will use fictional characters

OSD - Tuesday Adams with a touch of "mean girls" She is quiet and struck me as an odd duck as a child.. somewhat sullen... grew into a fairly vain and somewhat judgemental person...but never really was a serious problem for us then or now and I actually get along ok with her.
YSD - Maryanne from gilligan's island (smart and pretty and bubbly) or Jan in the brady bunch with a hint of youngest girl Cindy too.
DH- Captain Ron/Macgyver/Ross from Friends (captain who can fix anything but tall and dark haired like Ross and a bit of a goof, and you don't think he's the hot one at first, but you realize with time he is super hot)

BM - Mr. Haney from green acres/June Cleaver/The evil Queen from Snow White. She is conniving and always has a scheme going yet thinks she is mother of the year while really being more like the evil queen who punishes her poor girls for loving their father. The Hydra

Me - Cindy Lou Who... cause my dad was a grinch and my brother was Max the dog that got whipped..and I'm still weirdly nice to people... even mean people. Oh and maybe some. Also a bit of a pirate.. good person who has lived on the edge a bit.

Story - It would be a book of adventure on the high seas where a jolly band of do good pirates battles the Hydra and banishes her.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 8:53am

From the History Channel on Anne Bonny.. my kind of gal.

The notorious pirate Anne Bonny began her life as the illegitimate daughter of a wealthy Irish lawyer. In an effort to hide her dubious parentage, her father had her dress a boy and pose as his law clerk for part of her youth. She later moved to America, where she married a sailor in 1718 and journeyed to the pirate-infested island of New Providence in the Bahamas. There, she abandoned her husband and fell under the spell of “Calico” Jack Rackam, a flamboyant buccaneer who plied his trade in the Caribbean.

Bonny had always been known for her “fierce and courageous temper”—according to one legend, she nearly beat a man to death when he tried to force himself on her—and she quickly showed she could guzzle rum, curse and wield a pistol and cutlass with the best of Calico Jack’s crew. She later forged a friendship with fellow female pirate Mary Read, and the pair played a leading role in a spree of raids against small fishing boats and trading sloops in the summer and fall of 1720. Bonny’s stint on the high seas was cut short that October, when Calico Jack’s ship was captured by a band of pirate-hunters. Calico Jack and several other men were executed, but Bonny and Read dodged the noose after they were both found to be pregnant.

momjeans's picture

Submitted by momjeans on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 8:32am

Doppelgänger for me and DH:

DH - Charlie Hunnam

Me (SM) - Winona Ryder

Fictional for BM and skid, based on looks AND character:

BM - Chi-Chi (John Leguizamo) from “To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything” movie (because she looks like a Colombian man in drag with ALL THAT MAKE-UP)

Skid - Cher (Alicia Silverstone) from “Clueless” movie.

Story: Dad and stepmom move cross-country, in search of a new life, to escape a knife wielding, guitar smashing, door breaking, run you off of the road with her car psycho ex wife. Crazy ex wife is hell bent on looking sane to the outside world, and has most people (Ex husband’s family) convinced that she is.

BM is forever trying to pawn off her shallow, materialistic, dim-witted daughter on Ex husband and his wife. It’s not a happy, feel-good ending. SM doesn’t come around and put skid’s happiness over hers. No, SM moves forward with her dreams, opening a gallery, and hopeless DH comes around to putting her first, letting BM implode.

advice.only2's picture

Submitted by advice.only2 on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 8:46am

Me: Kristen Wiig from Bridesmaids
DH: Rick Morranis
SD: Regina George
Meth Ex:....basically any used up twacked out drug addict in any movie or t.v. show

Plot:
SM trying to get her life together while helping her loving yet sometimes dimwitted DH stay on top of keeping his completely vain, shallow and vapid daughter from posting kiddie porn on the internet because per her "It's like part of my ACTING career!" Meth ex stumbles around in the background looking like sh*t and warmed over death, yet somehow always able to stir up a complete and utter sh*t show despite only 2 brain cells left functioning.
The happy ending comes when SD moves away never to be seen or heard from again and somebody finally drops a house on meth ex.

beebeel's picture

Submitted by beebeel on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 9:20am

The cast:

Bm: played by Courtney Love whose incoherent junkie ramblings are the perfect match for our true life character.

SD16: played by train wreck superstar Lindsey Lohan. Her only talents include getting dumped every six weeks and crying in public.

SSstb18: played by Jonah Hill circa 2015. Weird, almost funny, but too weird to be really funny.

DH: played by the dashing Jon Hamm, a regret ridden war veteran trying to do his best for his family.

SM: yours truly played by Amy Poehler, a witty, hilarious lady who tries very hard the first 15 minutes of the film.

DS2: played by one of the Pitt-Jolie children. This baby has a six pack and will eat only the finest cheeses.

Cover1W's picture

Submitted by Cover1W on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 2:25pm

Cover: Minnie Driver, ambitious, no BS, single, no kids, happily divorced, fun woman. Meets dashing and smart man...who happens to have two kids and is not fully emotionality healed from his divorce.

DH: Kenneth Branaugh. Said man, longing for comfort, but still in reality, sense of humor, good talker.

SD1: Brittany Snow. Smart teen, does well in school and has ambition. But entitled, wants things handed to her instead of working for it and rules friends with an iron fist. Tells BM she's not family and uses DH effectively against her with "daddy voice" and feigned helplessness.

SD2: Danielle Campbell. Smart, may be math genius, has trouble making friends but devoted to two. Doesn't talk much with DH but confides in SM sometimes, to SD1s chagrin.

BM: Elizabeth Shue. Quiet, secondary role. But inspires fear in DH when needed.

All is good until SM moves in. Comedy ensues with almost "Home Alone" antics and notes of "The Parent Trap." SM rises above and turns it on SDs by eventually making DH see the real truth. Elements for adults in seeing SM talk with DH about BM. Fairy tale in that DH agrees to see counselor, a romantic get away and a lottery ticket purchase worth ten million.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 2:59pm

Aniki: a blonde Lucy Lawless

DH: Prince Volton (Flash Gordon movie in 1980) with Sam Elliot's voice

BioHo: Jabba the Hut

SD24: Miley Cyrus at her worst

SD21: Kelly Osbourne before her weight loss

PrincASS18: Logan Lerman

PigPen15: a filthy, bearded Russell Brand (yes, PP looks middle-aged)

Spawn10: an Olsen twin

This would be an action/adventure space odyssey with some comic relief. DH is the "damsel in distress" due to a narcissistic PAS-ing twunt. I'm the glue that brings it all together, straightens up the skids, AND I get to kick BioHo's arse and rub her face in steaming pile of Gorog poop.

fairyo's picture

Submitted by fairyo on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 1:33pm

My version of Star Trek- I would be Captain Janeway and OSD would be a unique alien entity who is just a blob with a cuddly toy on the end of each blobby limb this makes her appear harmless but she is a really dangerous foe because she takes over the deck and somehow gets all the crew to do her bidding, including DH. DH (Scotty) is eventually squashed by the blob because she wants somewhere to rest and he lets her rest on him even though he can no longer breathe under her colossal weight.
Eventually I steer the ship safely home to Earth and leave the crew and the blob to their own devices finding myself a nice peaceful beach and a tropical island with waterfalls made from champagne and pineapple, banana and coconut chocolate trees.

Valkyrie's picture

Submitted by Valkyrie on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 1:47pm

Movie title: Step-hell, A post-apocalyptic comedy drama fairytale
Rating: Two thumbs down

SO: Enrique Iglesias turned by The One Ring (whispering "my precioussses")
Me: Angelina Jolie from Maleficent
SD: Snow White
SS: Shrek wallowing in the swamp
BM: Lady Gaga

Plot: Our heroine Maleficent falls for Prince Charming (played by Enrique Iglesias), unicorns prance about by the light of rainbows and shooting stars. Maleficent falls into the evil trap concocted by the dread-demon named Love and moves across the globe to be with Prince Charming and live happily ever after.

Unfortunately the audience will discover that Prince Charming has fallen under the spell of The One Ring and is besotted by The Precious. Poor Maleficent has her wings cut and is now assigned the role of Cinderella.

Cinderella gets tired of Prince Charming's shit, saves all her money to buy a plane ticket home and lives happily ever after. The End.

blayze's picture

Submitted by blayze on Tue, 01/30/2018 - 3:10pm

THE CAST:
ME: Phylicia Rashad (Clair Huxtable circa 1989)
BM: Roseanne Barr (looks and loudmouth-ness circa 1989)
SO: Idris Elba (I'm being generous)
The kids: Some random kids

THE STORY:
Boy meets girl.
BM has cow.
Cow eats skids.
BM faints and dies.
Boy and girl live happily ever after.