I should have made this my first post but, I was struggling with a painful decision and truthfully, was looking for a place to vent my frustration and shock in the moment. So my first post was based on an ongoing (and I see from reading here, quite common) issue that had me... well, pissed. }:)

What brought me here was 9 years of insanity with a heaping does of chaos for good measure.

Met my STBXH 9 yrs. ago. We casually dated for 5 months before deciding that we were in love with each other. He was nearing the end of a 2 year battle for divorce. BM left w/o the kids, for another man. That didn't work out for her so she did everything in her power from that point on, to rekindle her dead marriage OR make him pay!. Dug in and refused to sign the divorce papers (right up until the judge made her do it.) During this time, she was dating scores of other men (sure she wanted to make her marriage work :sick: ) thinking that no one knew. She was what I would call a Psycho BM. Called incessantly, dropped in whenever she wanted, asked for favors that I felt were way above and beyond, made up AMAZING stories of having terminal illnesses, of being raped, of the children going missing, etc. (This type of behavior lasted up until 4 years ago.) When none of this worked, she began threatening, PASing the kids, stealing, making up lies about my STBXH, etc. This was long before I even entered the picture. Once I did, it all escalated out of control further. She then got the kids in on the action (they were 9 & 15 @ the time.) I noticed right away that everyone kissed BM's a$$. STBXH, MIL & FIL. She would do things that were criminally actionable and nobody took advantage of it. I was told that b/c she was the BM, it was necessary to keep her happy or she would keep the kids away from them. Naturally, I was expected to do the same. Umm... NOPE! Of course this lead to tension and ultimately I was excommunicated by the in-laws, lol. Eventually STBXH went total NO Contact with BM and life got better.... to a point.

The kids (now 24 & 18) seem to be following in BM's footsteps, especially SD. SS is more an 'under the radar' classic manipulator. Both have been, and continue to be, a complete waste of space. Entitled, selfish, money grubbing, manipulative, guilt mongering, lazy, immature, etc. SD (24) has mental health problems and takes a variety of medications that obviously don't work b/c nothing EVER changes. She is on SSI, does not work, and lives with BM full time.... until she has a breakdown (read: is not the center of attention, is not getting her way at the moment, or is bored) and moves in with in-laws for a few weeks here and there (basically whenever the hell she wants.) SS (18) has never worked a job in his life. He also lives with BM full-time. Neither of them are required to do chores. They do not have to cook for themselves, clean up after themselves, clean anything, cut the grass, take out the trash, etc. Not even at the in-laws house. They sleep until noon most days, come and go as they please, expect to be catered too (and they are.) SD does not have a license so everyone is expected to chauffeur her around, at her behest. SS has a license, was given a car @ 16 (which he ran in to the ground) and now is about to get a second car (free of charge) from STBXH. Much like his iPhone, I'm sure it will come with all the bells and whistles free of charge as well... insurance, tags, gas, maintenance, taxes, etc. Neither of these brats ever lived with us b/c after some of their actions, I refused to allow it. SD is prone to temper-tantrums that often escalate in to violence or property damage. STBXH knew that if it ever happened in our home, I would call the police immediately. It was in her best interest to live elsewhere. Of course this has caused some ill will. Still, it never stopped SD from coming in to our home and trying taking over. She (they both really) expect to be the king of the castle. The 'adults' have to cook for them, clean up for them, give them money to blow, etc. Umm, NOPE! I have been called names, told to STFU, flipped off, had my property either disappear or be damaged, even shown the door a time or two. Yes, SD told me that it was THEIR house and I was the unwanted guest. If we go on vacation, they demand to be taken on vacation as well. If I get a new article of clothing, they demand something new too, etc. Initially, STBXH had a difficult time dealing with all of it. He was torn between doing what's right and doing what's easy. I stupidly thought, (rather, was lead to believe) that this was unacceptable behavior that he would no longer tolerate. What was really happening is that he was going behind my back to kiss their a$$es but, telling me that he was done with their BS. Every quiet victory was actually a defeat and I never knew it. He would tell me one thing, then do the opposite (always in their favor.) I became invisible. The more I fought against it, the more sullen and quiet he became until he was using the silent treatment on me quite regularly. I decided that I would detach from the entire situation. I stopped going to his family functions, stopped inviting him to mine. I didn't attend b-day parties, graduations, holidays, etc. If the kids came over I would go to my GF's house. I was told that I was being immature, that I was an angry person who needed medication. He kept telling me that I never took the time to get to know his kids and that I was unfair to them. BULL$HIT! I wasn't raised in dysfunction and I was unable to tolerate it. 5 months ago, I had divorce papers drawn up. Even after that I kept trying to communicate with him, hoping to fix our now broken marriage.

Today I had those papers served to him. I wonder what's coming. Will he just let me go or will he try to reel me back in??? LMAO. The neighbor (who has been a trusted confidant) informed me that SD showed up with several suitcases. The story she got, was that SD had yet another breakdown and wanted to stay with 'daddy' for awhile. I guess since I am no longer there to stop it, she was once again, rewarded for her $hitty behavior. Just another reason why I'm Already Gone.

There is so much more to this story but, I gave the condensed version (which is still way too long, lol.)