Finally talked with SS last night before he went to work to talk about the party he had this weekend while we were gone. And in true SS fashion, the water works started when his dad started yelling at him.

He said he "knew" his dad would say no if he asked to have friends over. So having them over and then trying to hide it is better? He didn't get the point at all about why we were so upset about it. Brought up my missing hoodie, asked what else was missing? Asked if he had the money to replace a TV or computer getting broken. Or stolen valuables. And he of course played the victim. "We don't want him here" "He only causes problems" etc

SS threatened to leave several times. Each time, I pointed to the door and reminded him he was free to leave, told him no one was making him stay. Then he started to make his dad feel guilty about "not being there while they were growing up". I tried to get the conversation back on the topic, but DH and SS got in a yelling match. SS saying "why weren't you here (this specific timeframe)?" and DH yelling "I tried but...". SS bringing up the past, and why he has so much anger, and why he feels he deserves to be the victim pretty much. This went on for about an hour. After they got their yelling out, I brought them both back to why we were sitting down tonight.

Of course he tried saying it wasn't a party, it was just 3 friends over and he didn't drink. Of course you didn't SS.... whatever, hope he doesn't think we believe him. Well I sure as hell don't. He still says he doesn't know what DD's towel was used for, and he cleaned the bathroom counter and sink when the other male friend he had over told him the sink was disgusting, so he cleaned it before the 2 girls came over. He doesn't see that by not telling us and trying to hide the evidence, it was the same as lying to us.

In the end, DH gave him the ultimatum of going in to the military or start going to counseling. Do I think he will change? Definitely not...I think we'll be in this same place, having the same fight next week or the week after.

Oh and the topper...when DH went to take him to work, the bike rack, that's attached to the hitch on our pickup, was loose. DH goes in the garage to get the tool he uses to put it on with, it's missing. $30 tool, yes it can be replaced but just pisses me off even more. I'm SURE we'll find other things missing as we go along with the week/month.