Well, before I type out the complete circus that was the courtroom in regard to our hearing yesterday morning (and afternoon), I need to amend a part of my previous post about yesterday. DH now does not have to go to jail.

He talked with atty yesterday about possibly appealing the ruling. Atty advised DH that you cannot appeal pieces of a case or ruling, and that the entire hearing would have to be appealed. DH says to atty, well can you call the judge and ask him why he ruled that way? Atty says well yeah, I can speak to his assistant and have her speak with him, but he will NOT overturn his decision. Atty almost guaranteed it. DH being the stubborn fucktard that he is, told him to do it anyway.

Okay, I will explain how we got to the part where DH doesn't have to go to jail in a minute. First, let me tell you what happened in court and how we got to DH having to go to jail to begin with.

We met with atty at 730AM at his office. We discussed what we were doing. Atty had already spoken to the ad litem at length that morning and they had both spoken to BMs lawyer. The original plan after we sat down according to our atty was that BMs lawyer is now aware that she perjured herself, that our atty was fully prepared to let the judge know, that BMs lawyer even wrote it out very clearly in the Order from the last motion for continuance, and that our atty had all of the necessary evidence to prove that to the court.

BMs lawyer simply states that he knows he can get her to agree to everything but changing her from the primary residential parent. "We" (you will see why I am using quotations in a moment) concede to this. It's a freaking check box on a damn piece of paper. If it means she'll sign it, hell YES she can have that designated paper space. Her lawyer talks to her. He comes back. Asks if we would be willing to put in writing that we waive financial responsibility of her so that she wouldn't have to pay child support, and if we would put them on our insurance (so that they no longer will be on state aid insurance). Okay, fine. "We" don't care about the stupid 17$ a month in the grand scheme of things if it means we win. We were going to put the skids on my insurance anyway so yes, of course. Take them off of state aide. Please!! Okay fine. They consent to that. The GAL is so excited about possibly not having the teachers that are waiting there to testify on behalf of her subpeona and therefore get even more mad at her, she can hardly stand it.

Oh wait. Last minute. BM backs out. Damnit. Okay, well here we go!! BMs boyfriend is here by the way. So we all go in, and the lawyers tell all of the witnesses to step out. Before we do however, I hear DH'S ATTY ask that the teachers be able to go first as witnesses so that they can leave. Are you FUCKING kidding me?! So now I have to wait through at LEAST 3, possibly 4 (if he let's the daycare worker testify first too)witnesses, so I will be last and won't be able to hear anything, when, DH's ATTY ASSURED me that I would be first after BM and then DH. The teachers even went before them.

So I'm pissed. I'm stewing and nervous, and my stomach is in knots. Thank goodness my grandmother was there with me. The first teacher goes and comes out. The second teacher goes in. BMs boyfriend comes out. Apparently he missed the part about all possible witnesses must leave the courtroom and is now doing so because our atty finally realized he was there and made him leave. Ugh.

All the teachers go. Daycare goes. BM goes. This takes FOREVER. (At the time I know all of this because my grandmother is periodically peeking in the window in the door to see who is on the stand, and who is questioning them.)Then they break for lunch. DH does not speak to me. BM speaks to her boyfriend. I stay with my grandparents and DH goes off with his lawyer. My grandfather fills me in on what has been going on. BM is now instead of directly answering any questions that might admit she perjured herself, her favorite new phrase is "I don't remember", or "I don't recall". The GAL apparently is getting pissed with her because when she was asked if she lied in September to the judge in order to get her continuance granted, (the perjury) she is completely side stepping it. The GAL apparently is ripping her a new one.

We all go back in. She continues talking for a while. Then DH gets up there. That goes on for quite a while too. Then, oh wait. Shouldn't I be going? Wait. Wait. Wait. We then wait approx 45 minutes with no one on the bench and then...we hear the gavel smack and see BM run out of the courtroom HYSTERICAL. My grandpa comes out before DH and his atty, and can tell I am dumbfounded. He looks at me, wipes his hands and says "well, it's over" I say, "Okay, and..." He said he would let DH tell me and then told me only that the judge ordered both BM and DH to 10 days in jail, 8 days suspended, so they each have to serve two for being in violation of the September order.

Sidenote, just bc it's relevant. Basically BM perjured herself in Sept bc the GAL stated that she did not want the continuance bc BM was not administering SS7s medication to him on a daily basis (or at all) and that the GAL feared that SS7 would regress if we waited until the next court date to get this resolved. BM LIED and said that she had no idea that SS7 was on any type of medication. The judge then ordered that DH give BM the medication, and that BM administer it on her days, and DH administer it on his days, and that that was the only way that he would grant BM her continuance that time. Okay fine. DH didn't believe BM would. So they discussed and agreed upon the school nurse administering the meds on Mon and Tues (days BM drops them off at school), and that DH would administer it the rest of the week. Oh wait...yeah that's all fine and great in theory that they agreed on something finally. But um...regardless of what you agree upon amongst yourself, tisk tisk dumbasses, you can't go deliberately against a judge's order. THAT'S why the judge found both of them in contempt of court. They BOTH did technically violate that judges order.

Anyway. That's all I know at that point. DH finally comes out and says well I assume you know. I said no, I know you have to go to jail. He then says yes, and that's all. Meanwhile we're outside the courtroom and BM has fallen apart on the bench outside in the loudest (cough*fakest*cough) sobbing ever. I am then upset so I walk off, and in to the bathroom to compose myself. I then come back out to find out that we have won everything we asked for.

Now, according to DH yesterday this is what he told me. (Mind you, I was not in the courtroom, so at this time I had no idea what was really said)
1.We get them every school day. Period.
2.She gets them 3 weekends a month. We get them the first full weekend of every month.
3.During the summer, the rotate week on, week off.
4.DH now has sole medical decision making, and that she can NOT even make them an appointment.
5.That she has to pay us child support.
6.That she can never file another petition to amend.
7.That we can pick them up that night. Okay great. I didn't want them to see her hysterical anyway. I would much rather have them have a few days to process a calm rational explanation of things before they get PASed out of control by BM about it.
8.That DH is listed as the primary residential and custodial parent.
9.That DH gets to claim both children on his taxes every year.

I'm pretty sure that's all. Anyway, so we're happy. We're sad he has to go to jail BUT, like our atty put it, "If I told you you would win in the beginning but you had to spend 48 hours in jail would you have done it?" Of course. Okay. So, we go pick the skids up last night, we sit them down, they seem saddened, yet relieved. All completely normal reactions.

Okay. Fine. Fast forward to this morning.

I get off work. I come home, get the kids ready, take them to school, come back home to catch some zzz's, and DH gets a call from his atty. (Oh yes, I MUST mention at this point that DH's day off is today. Notice WHO did everything this morning...)He has some news...According to the child support worksheet, we have to pay BM 168$/mo in child support. FUCK IF I DO. DH doesn't hardly say a word about it, and is only worried that his atty calls the Judges assistant and address him going to jail. He gets off the phone with atty. I look at him and tell him, well, I will NOT be married to you if you have to pay her child support. Period. I will NOT be expected to not only raise these children BY MYSELF essentially bc DH works so much, and even when he IS here he's fucking lazy about it, AND have to pay that wicked witch BM money to do it. I will NOT have my life turned upside down, and pay that bitch to party. I WILL NOT DO IT, and unlike DH, I DO have the option to walk away. Fuck this.

DH is of course then pissed at me. Sure, there's nothing he can do about it. It is what it is. Atty calls back, he's an idiot and didn't calculate our insurance credit for having the skids on our insurance. Okay. Fair enough. He will call back with the right number. I then tell DH that I don't give a crap if it's 20freaking cents/month he's ordered to pay. I WILL NOT be a part of it.

I leave, and go to my friends house. Here's where things get interesting. I had DH take my phone and slip it into his pocket yesterday during the hearing with the "record" setting on.

I listened to the entire hearing this morning...

to be continued!!