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Follow Up to BM Call and 2 Skids driving me insane- Vent time

Anne Boleyn's picture

First- follow-up to BM’s 11PM phone call last night:

When we woke up this morning, FDH and I talked about it some more. We decided that he would NOT send her an email about it this time. It would just be responded to with some BS about how her kid needed her and she called her back (several hours later). I told him that I was going to keep the phone block in place. He is fine with that. Next time she calls here, she’ll get the picture. If she wants to talk to her kids, she can call their cell phones—it matters not to me. But if she calls/texts/emails FDH for anything other than an actual emergency outside of the specified times, there is going to be a major issue. For now, I am not going to let her know she bothered me in any way. I won’t give her that satisfaction. For all she knows, we were sound asleep when she called. Two weeks from now when she calls SD on her birthday here, she’ll figure it out when the canned message says “This party is not taking calls from this number at this time”

He is also going to tell the kids that my office phone is off limits for them to use. He honestly didn’t know that I’ve always had an issue with them using that phone and now he does.

More to come, I am sure of that.

In other news, SS STB19 came home from college this weekend and stayed here. He’s a nice kid who does really well in school, works part time (FT in summer) and is basically a normal guy his age. Because he’s been away at college and has hardly ever been here, he has no concept of the house rules. His mother also babies the hell out of him and worships the ground he walks on so he has zero responsibilities in his own home. Plus we all know BM’s house is an expensive trash pit. He has been driving me bonkers all weekend!!! Here’s some fun stuff that he’s done:

- Opened but never closed every single cabinet in the kitchen about 124 times
- Left the milk jug (80% full) sitting on the table for over an hour
- Went swimming in our pool and walked in the house dripping wet with no towel and leaving wet streaks and footprints all over the damn place.
- Walked out the back door about 10 times and never closed it. I suppose he thought we’d want to air condition the screened porch and yard.
- Tinkered on the piano, every hour-on the hour, for 3 minutes, then left the bench out so I had to move it every time I tried to walk from my room to the living room/kitchen
- Left dishes in the sink and on the counter and on the table and on the coffee table and on boxes
- Left the parmesan cheese sitting on the table for 6 hours
- Left his stuff all over the living room and kitchen
- Despite everyone else in the house putting a folded up paper towel under our drinks on the coffee table (until we unpack the coasters), put his drinks directly on the wood furniture. Finally tonight, FDH noticed and brought him a paper towel. Two minutes later I walked by to see his drink halfway on it and half on the wood. Come on man!
- And the kicker (this list could be larger)…. He has been taking up the living room TV with his shows and video games for most of his stay. Whatever. But when finally asked to play elsewhere so we could watch something, he picked up his console and started walking towards our room and asked “Can I play on your TV?” FDH and I both said “No”. He was like “REALLY??????!!!” I nicely said “SS, that is our private space”. He walked off to one of the kids’ rooms grumbling that it was totally ridiculous, he needed our better TV over the ‘crappy one’ (big but not flat screen) and simply couldn’t believe how terrible this was. Seriously kid? I get that your mom has no boundaries but do you, as a grown man, really expect me to want your ass all over my bed??

Man, the laziness and entitlement just make me crazy. I don’t have an issue with him eating 4 tons of food when he’s here. I want him to enjoy himself. But he thinks he has a personal maid and has a right to whatever is in this house, including MY bedroom.

And SD -STB12 has been acting up again this weekend again. She tried to convince FDH to take her home today and said “It’s ok with Mom”. He said “Well, then let her come get you. I have stuff to do and I am not driving an hour so you can go home early”. Guess who never showed up. Tonight, when she’d been on the computer at least an hour over her allotted time, FDH tried to get her off the laptop. She stayed on an extra 30 minutes with multiple warnings. He was busy making dinner so he wasn’t as on top of it as he should be—whatever. But then I caught her hiding in another room with it and told him. He yelled at her and she threw a tantrum. She then spent 30 minutes on the phone with her mom, hiding in our foyer in the dark. She stayed there long after she got off the phone and even missed dinner then finally ate after we all did. I refused to do the dishes because I told him I am not doing shift dishes because she can’t behave. She’s not as bad as she’s been but I am guessing BM has eased up and is letting her do whatever she wants at home again so this crap is starting all over again.

They are wearing me out!

Before dinner, I went to the grocery store with FDH just to get out of the house for a while. He asked me if I was feeling badly because he’d noticed I’d spent most of the afternoon holed up in my room. I very nicely told him yes—that my neck and back were killing me (outstanding issues exacerbated by the move/packing/unpacking/etc…). I also told him the truth (very nicely) that by Sunday, when we’ve had the kids since Thursday night that it gets overwhelming sometimes and that his eldest son was leaving a trail of mess everywhere he went and I wanted to remove myself from the situation rather than ‘get pissy’. He didn’t say anything but I think he understood and even appreciated that I was trying to keep the peace. He was quite sweet after that.

FDH goes on a business trip tomorrow and I am sort of excited about having the house to myself for a few days. But it would be nice to have some alone time with him. Last weekend was moving. This weekend the kids and all this drama. I really can’t wait for next weekend.

Comments

thebrokenrecordmachine's picture

BM has called SOs phone after midnight once to ask him a question....to see if we would take the kids to the Drive in. So I get it! Its hard when your BM is not cooperative, not willing to drive the kids anywhere w/o aksing for gas compensation. Even though, we were seeing them with my vehicle and I had to put a stop to it, not to be mean...I dont like being taken advantage of.
Enjoy your week off! Sometimes it is best to walk away. I have to bite my tongue back a lot, ive noticed SO ignores my comments, so it boils inside me even more.
But your best bet is to just walk away and do your own thing, when the kids annoy you. As you've done. This kind of prompts your DH to question, why your behaving like this. They'll get it eventually!
Anyways enjoy a stress free week1

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

Good for you!!!! You're doing the right thing. She just wants to chap your cheeks. Don't let her! That's YOUR work phone and you don't have to allow her to use it, especially since she's so darn disrespectful!

Sorry your skids are driving you nutty. I don't know where kids (or young adults) get the idea that it's okay to monopolize the electronics when they're in somebody else's home. Or EVER, really. My DS13 thinks he needs to turn the boob tube on as soon as he comes home from school at every day. Honestly, if we let him, he'd be on the TV til bedtime, then on the XBOX after that til all hours of the night. I just don't like them being all wrapped up in the TV like that.

Anne Boleyn's picture

"Flop house" LOL. So true.

It really was just the oldest kid messing the place up. The younger ones are used to the house rules since they've been with us EOW. The college kid just doesn't get it because he hasn't been around and he's spoiled. And I think FDH doesn't want to get on him because his visits are so rare.

I am not going to say anything this times since there was so much going on (unpacking, sewer problem, FDH not feeling well, etc...). But next time he tells me SS is coming over I am going to let him know he needs to pay attention to what's going on and let the kid know that he needs to clean up after himself and stop leaving messes everywhere. When my son comes over rarely for a visit and does stuff like leaving the cabinets wide open, I certainly say something to him too.