The 9 Worst Mistakes Stepparents Make
Did you read this?
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/9-worst-mistakes-stepparents-180900575....
I agree with 5, 3 and 2. So often we go overboard to try to win skids over and it doesn't work out that well for them or us. And so often, we let these kids be rude to us. We don't say anything in hopes that bio-parent will correct them. Often, they don't. And so often we disregard the fact that we, as human beings, deserve to be treated respectfully.
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Comments
I see where the points come
I see where the points come from, but when you are living it day to day, its hard to not speak up, or to not have certain feelings. Our counselor said the same thing, just be an adult figure to SD9. Dont try to parent her. Dont take her rudeness personally and dont act on it. I called BS. If the kid is rude to me, I will speak up. As for the rest, yah, ok. DH can parent all he likes.
Seems your counselor
Seems your counselor disagrees with #3. I disagree with your counselor. }:)
Exactly.. Thats why I
Exactly.. Thats why I called BS, right there in her office. DH said, "well the counselor said you shouldn't say anything." I told him he can stay silent when he is disrespected, but that doesn't work for me. My house, my rules. SD is pretty good, but when she does try the eye rolling or being flat out rude, I stop it right then and there.
There are some good points in
There are some good points in this article, but other points seem to disagree with points already made. Seems like there is some "double talk" in this article.
Like #7 seems to disagree with #8, especially since I don't think #8 is applicable if you are an EOW, because if you accept #7, why would you get a sitter when your DH only has kids 4 days per month essentially. ???
And #6 is always recipe for disaster. Duh. It even came up in court for us.
My SD-16 was on the stand, and was asked if BM bad-mouths us, and SD16 said "Yes, she does". So the lawyer says, "Well, I am sure your dad & IronRose bad mouths your mom, too..." And SD-16 says "No, never." The lawyer was stunned, and repeated "Never? Your Dad & IronRose NEVER have said anything bad about your Mom?" And Skid re-affirmed- "NO. NEVER." Took the freaking wind right out of his sails!!! ROFL
Yeah, its better to NEVER say
Yeah, its better to NEVER say anythng about the other parent. We are silent regarding BM, always. We have already heard what BM has told SD, and seen it on FB. When SD was asked, "how do you know that about DH and/or SM", she replies, "oh I just figured it out". Um, she was 8 at the time, she didn't "figure" anything out, she was told.
Just read this through your
Just read this through your link, it's so true. My SD's were never rude to me in the beginning, it has started now that I care for them alone very often, so of course, I am the one who disciplines them. But I mean, what are you supposed to do? lol "When your dad gets home tomorrow, you are in so much trouble" is not at all effective. When my FDH is around, I get him to do it, but when he's not, someone has to or they just walk all over you.
Yup we are in the same boat.
Yup we are in the same boat. DH isn't home until after SD9 goes to bed during the week and I left in the other parent role. When he is home he deals with it, but most of the time it falls on me. It's very frustrating because BM encourages them to tattle on everything I do, and has encouraged SD9 to lie about what I do, so when we were fighting to retain custody of the Skids, I was labeled as abusive and had to do everything I could to keep from crying. It hurt so bad to think that they would lie so badly about me after all that I do do for them.