I just saw a nutty BM screaming at her ex. When I have a free minute sometimes I'll watch old Steve Wilkos clips. He's had some wackos on, including nutty BMs.

I would just like these women to know that there are healthy, good ways of resolving issues with your ex that don't involve the kids. If you're not getting the CS you're owed, you go through the courts and the state. Better yet, maybe email your ex first. You don't withhold visitation and/or let the kids know about these issues. Don't even speak about them when the kids are in your place.

If you think your ex has a temper problem, is unnecessarily short with the kids, or has anger issues (or both), email him addressing your concerns for the kids in a businesslike manner. If he won't work with you, go see your lawyer and show them the proof that you've tried to work with him but feel it's necessary to get a judge to order him to get therapy, anger management classes, parenting classes, etc. You don't withhold visitation and/or let the kids know about these issues. Don't even speak about them when the kids are in your place unless the kids come to you with concerns. And then you need to say, "this is something that we adults are working out. We love you very much and always will."

If you disagree with a parenting decision ex has made, you could email him and say, "hi ex, I know Susie has had a problem with lying. I know you're making her write sentences. When she's at my house I take away her tv privileges. She loves tv. It seems to have stopped the lies at my house. Maybe you'd be willing to try this? I think it would be great for the kids to have as much consistency as possible in their lives. Thanks, BM"

If you disagree with something SM has done, you could send an email saying, "Hi ex and SM, I noticed that Susie came back with a haircut. She had wanted to grow it a bit. While I appreciate your doing this, I enjoy taking her to get haircuts and feel I have done a good job in making sure her hair looks presentable and is healthy. I'm sorry that you did not know that Susie wanted to grow it a bit. Thanks, BM"

If you're wondering where a bruise on Jimmy came from, you could email ex and say, "hi ex, I noticed that Jimmy came home with this bruise I've never seen before. I was wondering if you know how he got it. Hopefully we can work together to try to prevent him from getting bruises. Thanks, BM" Now, if the ex refuses to work with you or answer you, you've got big problems and need to get CPS involved. But don't take matters int your own hands.

If SM comes to a conference, while that may be painful for you, and you may feel that you and ex have it taken care of, maybe she's there to show the teachers that she cares about your kids. Treat her like you would treat a teacher or coach of your kids. She's another adult who helps care for them. Now, if you feel she's mistreating your kids or doing drugs and have attempted to work with her, and she won't work with you, you need to involved the authorities.

Whew. The point is, there are much more peaceful ways to work with ex and SM. Ways that'll be better for all, including you, in the long run. Being a bi+ch isn't one of them.

If you are just consumed with jealousy and hate for the ex and SM, do yourself and your kids a favor and get counseling.