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A fellow SM asked this columnist (not Dear Abby!) for advice,

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Wed, 11/11/2009 - 9:01pm

and I want to know what you think.

Her husband's ex had a baby recently, and she wants the baby to call her mom. She wants her DH to have joint custody.

I think she is moving way too fast. The BM is still breastfeeding. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable forcing my skids to call me mom.

What I would love to know is, did the DH cheat on the SM with the BM, or did he date the BM, break it off with her, then date and marry the SM?

Anyway, here is the article: http://www.philly.com/inquirer/magazine/20091029_Tell_Me_About_It___New_...

Comments

Lilly's picture

Submitted by Lilly on Wed, 11/11/2009 - 9:16pm

I dont know what the situation is, but I did agree with the response.
Who does she think she is? having the baby call her "Mom", if I was the BM I would be freaking out. The BM was obviously with the DH/BF 9months ago, so the situation can't be that stable.

I hope this SM take the advise and steps back, and leave the BM and baby alone.

PnutButta's picture

Submitted by PnutButta on Wed, 11/11/2009 - 9:35pm

Hm. Interesting. I commend the SM for wanting to be in the childs life, but she really does need to consider what is in the baby's best interest.

Your Right is...well, right. Can't be a very stable situation. Train wreck waiting to happen, IMO.

Why would she want the baby to call her Mom? She does not have that right.

~ Please excuse me, I have a low bullsh*t tolerance... ~

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Thu, 11/12/2009 - 8:54am

The Mom is the Mom, the SM will be the step-mom. No need in confusing the child. And being that the baby is so young, baby needs time to bond with the Mom. The step-mom will still have years of frustration ahead of her, even coming into the child's life in a year or so. She sounds just a little too eager.