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If you were a BM interacting with your ex and child's SM, what would you do differently?

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 3:04pm

And I ask because DH had a look at BMs myspace site, and she was talking about how she'd do things so differently than her fiance's 7 baby mamas (yes, you read that right, 7). Now, the fiance has nothing to do with any of his kids. So I was wondering, "what would you do differently, lady?"

So I'd like to know what everyone here would do differently if we were the BMs dealing with ex and SMs?

What I'd do differently:

I'd use CS on my kids
I'd work
I'd emphasize that it is important to treat SM and her kids (if she has any) respectfully
I'd keep issues between me/ex and me/sm between the adults
I wouldn't PAS- if I really disliked the ex/sm and/or was struggling with the situation I'd get counseling
If my kids were having issues I'd work with my ex to try to help them and address said issues
Last, but this is the biggie, I wouldn't make fun of SM having a miscarriage
I'd be polite and business-like to both ex and SM
I'd know that I am the mom and that everyone else, including SM, knows that so there's no need to act controlling, and that my child's having one more adult in their lives who is good to them is a good thing
I'd keep communication about the kids

Comments

fedup13's picture

Submitted by fedup13 on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 4:38pm

Same here!! Damn!! And he is not involved with any of these children?? She picked herself a REAL winner didn't she?

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 4:37pm

Me either but bm apparently found this guy on MySpace. Given that she has let sexual predators around the kids, dh decided to do some digging on this guy. He looked at his myspace page-he boasts that he has 7 baby mamas :sick:

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 4:44pm

Why in the world would any woman want a man with that many kids???

All the men in the world and she decides to play house with one who has SEVEN baby mommas. DUMB DUMB DUMB

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Wed, 03/20/2013 - 4:47pm

Guess we'll be hearing from this BM soon after having dealt with her own skids and 7 baby mammas!

New second wife-step-mom's picture

Submitted by New second wife... on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 8:18am

Different than BM in our case:

I would not (and did not) call my EX whining over everything that happened at our house. I would deal with it myself.

I would (and have always said) that EX's SO seemed like a nice lady to my kids.

I would encourage my children to accept their fathers relationship with SM and not be disrespectful or rude to her even if they didn't really like her. Try to find something in her you like and focus on that.

I would not expect my EX to have personal contact with me every day. I would let him have a relationship with his kids and gradually fade out of the picture.

misSTEP's picture

Submitted by misSTEP on Thu, 03/21/2013 - 9:20am

I'd say about the same as what you said (except I didn't have a miscarriage that BM knew about).

I would add that I would not bad mouth the other parent to the child(ren) nor expect them to be my little spies on what is going on "over there."

I would not make a complete idiot of myself in front of my neighbors by screaming out on the front lawn.

I would not spend so much money on attempting to make my ex's life miserable. I would instead use that money on making my kids and my life BETTER.

I would GET OVER IT and not be a bitter, greedy, vindictive BITCH.

[I AM a BM dealing with a "father" who abandoned his child. If I didn't go bat shit crazy, there is absolutely NO reason the BM of my skids should have! Oh, except she is CRAZZYYY]