When my SO and I met, I asked his children if they were okay with it. I knew them before I knew him. I have been in their lives for almost ten years. I knew what a loser as a father he was. He was young when he and his ex GF had them(all illegitimate).He had custody of girls. His son was with the Mom. He picked a woman with no kids after that. She wanted to be princess not the queen. Her parents spoiled them, not his kids. They lived life as though it was just the two of them. So, Aunty (my BFF)played Mom. She has two children around the same age as his. BM is pretty much a glorified friend to them. His kids have lots of issues, I know it's because of the way they were raised or lack of. Pretty much the same song and dance, none of them work ,they are all lazy, they will listen in on peoples conversations and use it against others.

The son lived here. Only, for a few months. In that time, a lot of my bs's ps3 games and accessories came up missing. My neighbors came knocking on the door asking if anyone broke into our home or cars because theirs had and the other neighbor down the lane. We live in the boon docks so, this is rare. IT was no mystery to me ....I told SO I wanted my sons to be compensated. Never happened. His son still denies this.
I hate the fact that whenever one of his kids live here they do nothing all day. After, work and school ,my bk's and I are cleaning up after whatever straggler is living here at the time. Dog piss and all.SO says oh, I will talk to him/her. I've let the son live here and the younger daughter.the older daughter has two kids and a man. I was a queen bitch for never letting them stay here. My reasoning is if you can bring life into this world ,you don't need a roof from me. Four people is to many to let stay...But, Aunty let them live at her home for many months.She was treated like shit and like an unwanted guest in her own home. I finally, told SO "If BM can tell all three of them they are not allowed to live with her, then , WHY can't I?" That was the end of it none of them are welcomed to live here.
The son moved to TX to take care of grandpa. Which, has only made SO have to face the fact that his son has no respect. His father has called crying several times about the way the son makes him feels. For example, the old man fell and had to wait two whole hours before the son came out to smoke and finally, saw his grandpa laying there.
The younger daughter lives with Aunty, after leaving my home. Her BF was abusive....that's why her one year old lives with him...she has EOW and Wednesdays with him. I think she thinks its okay,seeing her mother left her with her Dad. She listens in on Aunty and I talking and then tells my SO "they were talking about me" my response "stop giving me things to talk about". And why am I in the wrong and eaves dropping okay?
oldest daughter thinks she is one hot tamale....she had her first son right before she went to prison.She went for beating up one of baby daddies lovers. Literally, broke into this girls home in the middle of the night and beat the hell out of her. She just turned 18.Baby daddy is in prison as well.
She got out of prison. Met a good guy. Got knocked up. His parents are both teachers in they're small town. to save face, his parents bought them a house, gave them a car, on their ins. (she doesn't drive),his brother pays cell bill (bro just got married not sure how long his wife will let this continue). pays for there their portion of family vacations. It's all good but, what erks me is, SO and his daughter think they've earned this. Be grateful for having help. Don't play it off as if you are the one that does this.
She doesn't work in all actuality if they break up she will be in the same boat as her sister that she constantly brags to. Oldest daughter laid a golden egg (her daughter) and will now be taken care of. End of story!
I cant buy gifts for her kids because when she gets gifts from people she doesn't like for example, baby daddies family, she throws it in the trash ...gift bag and all! or she sells the gifts on facebook She also, goes to clothing banks and then sells that on FB as well. SO will say wow, my daughter is a good seller on FB!!! It just makes me laugh....
I got an evil text from her almost a year ago, telling me that she wants nothing to do with me that my SO doesn't need to be involved with a woman with such young kids ,I'm a rebound for her Dad ,blah!!! I've been disengaged from all of them for nearly a year. But, for some reason I'm still in the wrong. I will try to get along or go to special events, just to prove to SO I am trying but then the next day it will be, oh, Dad did you see how your girlfriend was or the tone of her voice ...I'M done! His children like to disengage too. From me, my SO, their BM, Aunty, whoever isn't kissing their ass at the moment, and that's okay with me!!!!
So, this is what lead up to Saturday nights fiasco..... we had a few drinks at Aunties house, came home and I let him have it ... he came at me first. saying, Aunty and I are nothing but gossipers.It just went downhill from there. I verbally abused him told him his kids weren't worth a red cent, they should have never been born especially since neither one of them wanted to raise them properly.
I told him I wasn't the whores he is used to. who think living in sin is okay. Told him the truth but in a horrid, ugly way. Yesterday, he told me no one has ever said anything like that to him before ....I feel awful. I did apologize but, it really doesn't change anything in my heart. I told him, I have subtly told him about all of these issues. I feel he should have corrected it a long time ago. I need to know he is with me. Not just trying to keep the peace.
I have my own kids and I don't own any blinders...the slightest show of disrespect from them and I am on them. He knows this. They are minors. I know my 10 year olds constant sing song is ANNOYING! I tell him to stop it. I have also, told SO if this is going to work then you need to co parent my children .Sometimes the eyes on my ass don't work! Do not let them get away with things that are unacceptable!
I sometimes wish his kids were younger so, I could make them mind me.thank you for any advice or comments .... I really feel bad