Nasty's plans for summer...
Below is an email from Nasty regarding her summer visitation...SO hasn't responded yet & I fear that we will indeed drive to "Randomtown FL" to ensure that the SKids to get to see BM...but alas...what can I do.
SO & Anywho,
I think this year I am going to have to drive and pick up the kids... My tax refund was taken in full by the IRS for back taxes that we owed in 2007 (Note 1)
I was looking at google maps and it looks like it is about 1,171 miles from My Town, Fl to Our Town, Tx. Can we meet half way? Which would be in Randomtown, FL? (Note 2)
I was thinking that maybe we could both find a nice hotel to stay in and maybe have dinner and spend some time together. That would give me a chance to meet Anywho and vice versa...and give the kids some time to adjust before you and Anywho have to leave them. (Note 3-5)
(Note: Okay…where to start…)
1.SO paid his portion of owed taxes & the remainder is down to her…she pulled from her 401K to get a boob job. SO told her this during the phone conversation that I posted about earlier
2.We did all of the driving last year leaving a whopping 3 for her to do…which she tried to get out of…this year, it SHOULD be her responsibility to transport the Skids.
3.I would rather gouge my own eyes out with a dull spoon than spend one second with Nasty that did not include us passing the Skids off to her as required by the CO.
4.During her first visitation (after not having seen the Skids for 3 years), SO did the combined dinner thing to aide the Skids in getting used to being with Nasty…only to have her COME ON TO HIM repeatedly…this little dinner crap will happen over my dead body!
5.Last but not least…what in GODS NAME makes her think that he or I would want to get a hotel that is within 50 miles of her stupid skank location? WTF??? How idiotic is this woman???
OH...BTW, This Randomtown is at least 4 hours away from Orlando...where Disney is...you know, the same Disney that she's been promising the Skids that she would take them to...yup...MOTY alright!
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Technically, she is supposed
Technically, she is supposed to pay 100% of the transport but SO insists on paying half of the transport costs because as a NCP, he understands how difficult coming up with that money can be. I'm okay with his paying 1/2 but again, last year, we did ALL of the driving (so that she could afford to fulfill her promise of Disney...she still didn't take them.)
She is meant to have the EOWE & major holidays EOY with 6 weeks in the summer. She has only had them 4-6 days over the last 2 years with NOTHING prior to their divorce in 2007. She is also schedule to call them twice per week but chooses instead to call once about every 1.5 to 2 months. The length of the conversations vary from 7 minutes to 1 hour on Skype.
Technically, pick up & drop off includes us passing their bags back & forth...that's IT...nothing about leisurely meals together or spending time at a hotel "getting to know each other".
Technically, yes...but again,
Technically, yes...but again, we did ALL of the driving last year so I don't see why we (or he) should do that. She didn't reimburse us for jack crap & only had to drive 3 hours compared to our 18.
The idea was that WE would do
The idea was that WE would do the transport last year & SHE would take care of it this year. Alas, she is now playing stupid & pretending that she never agreed to anything.
One day, SO will get why it is SOOOOOOOOOO important for him to do all of this crap via email rather than schmoozy phone coversations. One day...
I could see it working if the
I could see it working if the BM wasn't a lazy crazy whore...but I'm raising her children & I'm the one that has to deal with the aftermath of her lies & crap with the SKids. I want nothing to do with her...EVER! I couldn't promise that my mouth would be under control 100% of the time...I'm far too mouthy to be put into a situation where she's playing MOTY & I'd have to go along with it.
Lord knows...I can guarentee
Lord knows...I can guarentee that she would have NEVER spent any unwarranted time with Redneck though...they hated each other. She thinks that she's so awesomely fantastic that I'd be INSANE not to want to spend time with her, getting to know her... :sick:
SD8 comes back from her annual visits with a horrendous attitude towards me, thanks to BM Nasty...SD seems to think that it's MY FAULT that her family broke...little does she know, I met SO 2 years after the divorce & the divorce happened because Nasty is a whore (5 guys (in 3 months) that SO knew nothing about when they were still a happy family). Nasty tells the SKids that it's their dads fault that they aren't married anymore yet tries to pull this crap (coming onto SO during dinner repeatedly) in front of the SKids...hell yeah it's confusing for them!
i don't know...if he insists
i don't know...if he insists on meeting her half way ok...but absolutely zero schmoozing it with bm...
you could have plans to go on a cool mini vacation once you dropped them off...
Dear Nasty, I understand that
Dear Nasty,
I understand that the IRS took your refund for your share of our debt from 2007 As previously advised I have already met my obligation to our Govt.
We hav not finalised our plans for this summer yet and will get back to you in a few days. But we are considering taking the kids to Disneyworld as they have never been. So how about you pay for 100% of the transportation costs and we will pay for the Disney passes. I can drop the kids off to you for a week while Anywho and I have a few days to ourselves and then pick them up on the way home.
I cannot see the point in staying in a hotel together as we both have new lives. It will only lead to confusing the kids and i am sure you would never want to confuse or hurt our kids.
Anyway, I will get back to you on April 1st via email without plans and we can work from there.
You know the suggestion about
You know the suggestion about Disney is a good one. If you do it dont tell her about it and then just drop the kids off to her, and she is responsible for return travel for them (as previously mentioned by another poster - great idea).
That way:
1) your OH feels great for facilitating access for his kids to see BM
2) you get a vacation out of it
3) the skids will LOVE you when you mention it was your idea to take them "seeing as your mommy didnt take you last year"
4)bonus addition of pissing of BM because you will have actually taken the skids to Disney, while all she has done is empty promises
As a side note, if BM decides to PAS the skids about the disney thing "SM had no right to take you as I was going to take you this year. She spoilt it for us...I am so sad...boohoo..."
Then make damn sure you say "skids mommy promised you and us that she was taking you last year to Disney. That is why daddy paid for and took you down to see Mommy, so you would have this awesome vacation. Travel, which btw, your mommy should be paying 100% for. However she didnt take you. People shouldnt break promises imo and we were so sad that you were disappointed that we decided to take you instead. Mommy told us she was broke, so we naturally concluded she couldnt afford to take you to Disney this year. Again. After all, she asked dad and I to bring you guys down to see (paid for by us)...."
I would also be putting sd8 right about her perception that you broke up her parents marriage. I do not condone placing children inbetween split parents however your BM made a decision to lie and abuse her kids by doing exactly this. I find it can be extremely damaging and confusing to allow children to believe lies. Our BM used to do the same with my ss, DH eventually saw enough sense to just tell ss the facts i.e. "sd mommy and daddy broke up TWO years before daddy met me. So I could not be the reason they broke up. Not sure why your mommy is saying that, except she is angry that daddy and I are so happy." If sd wants to know the reason they split "go ask dad". You arent slagging off BM, you are just stating minimal facts. Believe you me, its better the skids are put right about stuff like this!
Don't hold your breath about
Don't hold your breath about the Disney thing. I took both my skids to Disneyworld, and also on many other trips. They never appreciated any of them. The fact that their fathers never took them anywhere was irrelevant - since the trip came from me, it "didn't count." Not sure what would happen in this situation, but if I had a nickel for every time that a step-parent did something nice for their skids, and the skids did not appreciate it, I would not be on this site. I would have so much money that I could hire an avatar to post on my behalf.