SO had a nice long talk with SD on Sunday. They were gone for almost four hours when all was said and done. And, the majority of the time was spent engaged in a conversation about how SD has royally stepped over her boundaries and how, if she has a problem with the house rules and any attempt I made to enforce them on the weekends I was alone with her, then, she has a problem with SO, not me. SO laid it all out very plainly for SD and made sure that, by the end of the trip out and about, that she knew that she was being disrespectful towards me and that everyone is deserved of being treated respectfully. He helped her understand how unfair she was being in blaming me for every bad thing that happened during this trip so far, that the reality was that SHE was the reason she was getting in trouble, SO was the reason she had rules and expectations, and that it was unfair of SO to expect me to hang out with her all day, two days in a row, by myself and have no way of keeping control of my own house.

He also explained to her that I am not like SO and GUBM in the way I deal with problems that arise. I'm not going to coddle her and be all gentle and nice in my language, but, I'm not going to be unruly and mean. I'm going to talk to her like she's a human being, like any other human being I know, and I'm going to put it forward to her very plainly when she's stepped over her boundaries. He told her that this doesn't mean that I necessarily have to change the way I am, but, that it might mean that perhaps SD needs to change the way she responds to others by actually responding rather than reacting.

And, SO explained to her that I am not going anywhere. He is not planning on ending his relationship with me, so, if SD is trying to do anything to sabotage it, she might as well stop trying. If she wants a relationship with SO, then, she's going to just have to accept that I come along with that relationship because I am not an option, I am here to stay (yay, SO!).

Later that night, SD waited until SO was in the bathroom and approached me and gave me what I felt was a legitimate apology. It seemed to be legitimate and relatively heartfelt. But, it's hard to say, really. Of course, I'm not re-engaging just because she apologized to me. SO knows this. We are both in agreement that she needs to work her butt off to repair the damage to whatever connection she and I had accomplished before she went all snotty ass teen on me. It's time that she proves herself. But, the apology is a good start.

She's started saying "hello", "goodbye", and "goodnight" to me and making small requests. Of course, as long as she is polite, I will indulge her - to an extent - and respond in kind. For instance, if the "hello", "goodbye", or "goodnight" is polite, I'll reply in kind. If they are snotty and forced then I pretend like I didn't hear her. When she makes a request, if she isn't polite about it, I pretend like I didn't hear her - which worked out relatively well last night when she asked me if she could have one of my cheetos. She didn't say "please" when she asked, which is something SO has been trying to get her to be in the habit of (saying "please" and "thank you", it's on her rule list, sadly), and, so, when she asked, I kept staring at the TV. SO reminded her what she needs to do (Boo, SO, she could have figured it out on her own!) and she tacked on a quick "please". But, I kept staring at the TV. Once she figured it out and put it all together "May I have a Cheeto, please?" I said, "Oh, sure, here" and offered the bag in her direction. Something tells me that she's not going to be forgetting those manners very frequently.

Our counselor thinks it is very cool that we are just changing our tactics rather than just trying to force the previous situation to work, which, realistically, is what we did with our relationship, too. If something doesn't work, we re-group and take a new approach. And, it makes me wonder if she questions why we're even there sometimes lol.