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A happy thought for the weekend

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 3:07pm

Okay, since today has been a pretty depressing stepfamily news day (see blogs below about 12 year-old stepson killing his stepmom, and then the stepmom who killed her stepson), I'm gonna spread some hearts and flowers to counteract it:

I just picked up my SD16 for the weekend. We had a great time -- I took her out to lunch, we went book shopping, She kept thanking me over and over for stuff, and finally she said, you're an awesome stepmom. I said, thanks, I really appreciate it, because you know, stepmoms get kind of a bad rap. She said, Yeah, I've been noticing that since I met you! People are always talking bad about stepmoms. But stepdads don't seem to get that as much -- why is that? She just kept telling me over and over what a great mom I was to her.

We just got home. She's taking the dog for a walk, and as she was leaving, I was thinking about how much I love being the stepmom sometimes: I get all the perks of being the mom with very few of the hard parts. It really has brought a lot of joy to my life, after all!

Happy weekend, everyone!

BB

Comments

stepmom008's picture

Submitted by stepmom008 on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 3:10pm

"I get all the perks of being the mom with very few of the hard parts."

That's not usually the way we look at it Smile We always hear "All of the work and none of the credit."

I'm going to have to remember this - I love it!

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

soverysad's picture

Submitted by soverysad on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 3:46pm

I get all the crap parts with none of the good stuff. Sad

Wingnut doesn't do jack shit for Creature (except buy her stuff and let her do whatever she wants) and she is mother of the freakin' year.

"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"

TheWife's picture

Submitted by TheWife on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 3:58pm

**Love**

____________________________________________________________________

Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Submitted by Wicked.Step.Monster on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 3:59pm

BB - I've always said it's great having my SDs because I get to do ALL the fun stuff and then send them back... Smile

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 4:02pm

Exactly! I used to say that about my friends' kids:

"My job is to rile 'em up -- and send 'em home!" }:)

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

Submitted by Wicked.Step.Monster on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 4:06pm

Yep, all the good stuff and no labor pains! haha! Actually my SDs will be here in about an hour. I'm thinking tomorrow will be 'bribe SDs with money to clean the house' day... heehee.... SD11 can ALWAYS be bought! Wink

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 4:13pm

Is it that you are awesome or your SD is awesome, or both? So many of the things you mentioned were so poignant for me because they were things I could envision SD and I doing back when she was little (definitely not now). But SD refuses to even pet the dog and is absolutely nasty to it when it comes to her seeking affection (and it really is the sweetest dog). She hates it just because I picked it out and it's not a chihuahua (which is the dog SD wanted).

When I used to take SD shopping, I didn't get thanked, I got a nasty sour face and she would make a point of NEVER wearing the clothes I bought, even though she picked them out herself. Her dad took her shopping to her favorite place last time she was down, and she blew up and called me nasty names after he was done catering to her, and she hasn't been back since.

Sounds like both of you have got it together or are working to make it work. Congrats!

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 4:20pm

Ugh, Elizabeth, that sucks. I think I've just been really lucky, actually. My DH really got the need to not give the kids "spousal status" and never let them think that they got a vote on whether/who daddy dated. He's really listened to me and my needs, too, and made sure to create a space in his life for me, and make sure that the kids knew that's the way it was.

I don't think that it's me or SD, exactly. I really think that it's either thanks to or because of the parent/spouse if things do or don't work. They are the only ones who can set this dynamic up.

So sorry to have hit a nerve. I meant for it to make people feel better, of course, but I imagine it made some people only feel worse.

Hugs!!!

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Elizabeth's picture

Submitted by Elizabeth on Fri, 03/12/2010 - 4:44pm

Eh, it is what is in my situation, you know what I mean? It's really mostly beyond bothering me at this point. I'll just have to lavish all my affection on my own kids, right?!