I'm so sorry BW that you have to deal with this in your life. But the bright side is when you are finally done with him. Don't lose sight of your school, and yourself, and your kids. He's using you for everything you are worth, trying to beat you down to nothing. Surprise for him, you aren't going down that road.

I wish she would walk in right now so you could slap that expression off her stupid little face.

I hate what you go through. I hate even more that you are trapped in it.

I know that you are happy and excited about starting school again and that's fantastic. I don't want you to think about the leeches anymore. DH can rant and rave as much as he likes as long as he doesn't lay a finger on you otherwise he will have the whole of StepTalk at his door step and I mean it.
You havn't done anything wrong and they all deserve a bitch slapping as far as Im concerned.

Hopefully DH decides to go away for the weekend and leaves you with a bit more peace to study.

Try not to let what he says bother you, you know he is only acting and talking like this cause his self esteam is up the shit and the only way to make him feel better is to put you down.
You are bigger and better than that.
Let what he says go in one ear and out the other, he isn't worth your time to even think about.

I know that you are happy and excited about starting school again and that's fantastic. I don't want you to think about the leeches anymore. DH can rant and rave as much as he likes as long as he doesn't lay a finger on you otherwise he will have the whole of StepTalk at his door step and I mean it.
You havn't done anything wrong and they all deserve a bitch slapping as far as Im concerned.

Hopefully DH decides to go away for the weekend and leaves you with a bit more peace to study.

Try not to let what he says bother you, you know he is only acting and talking like this cause his self esteam is up the shit and the only way to make him feel better is to put you down.
You are bigger and better than that.
Let what he says go in one ear and out the other, he isn't worth your time to even think about.

I know that you are happy and excited about starting school again and that's fantastic. I don't want you to think about the leeches anymore. DH can rant and rave as much as he likes as long as he doesn't lay a finger on you otherwise he will have the whole of StepTalk at his door step and I mean it.
You havn't done anything wrong and they all deserve a bitch slapping as far as Im concerned.

Hopefully DH decides to go away for the weekend and leaves you with a bit more peace to study.

Try not to let what he says bother you, you know he is only acting and talking like this cause his self esteam is up the shit and the only way to make him feel better is to put you down.
You are bigger and better than that.
Let what he says go in one ear and out the other, he isn't worth your time to even think about.

Wait til they are adult women -- even more issues! But at least you won't have to see them as much;)

Don't let him distract you from your studies. I say he's still trying to sabotage your hard work so you won't be able to leave him one day.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

"Thinking back to when I was a teen, I was never allowed to act like this-and was grateful for anything my parents did for me...I wasn't perfect -more interested in boys than school, kind of lazy-but nothing like these girls. And my sons were never like this. They brought different sets of problems-teenage drinking, auto wrecks, too much running around; but not the insolence. Not the entitlement."

Here here. Do you ever get how our grandparents felt? Disconnected with the values of their grandchildren?

I remember my grandma writing me a letter about the differences between our generations. She wrote of her love for us, but how strange our culture was to her, the oldest of nine children, a few of whom didn't live to see adulthood, ALL of whom my grandmother helped to raise.

It wasn't long, but so very heart felt. I have no idea where that letter is today. I have looked for it since I moved out of my mom's. I do have a shawl my grandmother knitted for me, which of course is an "old lady" off white open shawl I would still never wear today. But she wrote a note for that I still have that says, "I hope when you wrap yourself up in this shawl you will feel the love I had in making it for you."

Priceless.

And I know that even though we were dealing with the exponential rise of consumerism, I got that shawl. I really did know it was important.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

BW--You keep moving forward! You know this education is the right thing for you. It's empowering.

I have a theory that weak men are threatened by women who take charge of their own lives. Your H will likely be threatened by all your hard work and try to sabotage in various ways when he sees that you are committed and successful. His weakness also extends to personal relationships. It's easier to "love" a stupid teenage daughter who giggles and fawns over him than it is to "love" a wife who expects basic adult behavior and respect.

I see this with my H. His eyes light up and his voice changes when he answers a call from one of his disgusting adult daughters. He is so happy that they call him! They are his angels. They can do no wrong. He finds it so much easier to deal with them than deal with me. I have expectations. I don't giggle, or fawn over him. I hold him responsible for his behavior, and that's just no fun at all.

It's too bad that entitled, bratty teen SDs never seem to grow out of it. They just find weak men who will put up with their abuse--just like dear 'ole daddy. Honestly, the thought of dealing with H's adult SDs and their spawn for the rest of my days makes me SICK. That's why I am working so hard to get out--just like you are!

We'll get there. One day at a time.

Don't let him!!!!

Focus on YOU! YOU! YOU!

You can do this.
Screw his nasty daughter.
YOU are the important one here.
WE believe in YOU!

"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"

You hit the nail on the head..I never acted like that either..I was grateful for what I got as a kid/teenager growing up..I think the difference is that we were not raised to think that the world and everyone in it owes us something..Between DH and his family grossly over indulging step snot she has a sociopathic sence of "entitlement"..

Perhaps instead of taking his daughter some where for the weekend he should take YOU...What an ass...

In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities. ~ disgusted

and said that his parents wouldn't let him behave the way his kids do. He had rules and had to behave and all that stuff...while he lives to cater to their every whim to the point where they control our very existance. And do you know what he said to me? "Well, that's just how it is these days...it's like this everywhere..."
Ugggggg!!!!! This is the same man who tried to tell me that he doesn't care how other ex's behave, this is how him and his ex interract and he doesn't care what goes on anywhere else. I am just drained trying to deal with his logic. It's like the two brain cells he's got are constantly fighting.lol

Raising a puppy and watching "The Dog Whisperer" has put everything into perspective for both FH and I.

Before I came on the scene five years ago, my partner's eldest daughter was the alpha female in their "pack", then consisting of FH, his son 13, and his two daughters, 9 and 11. The eldest daughter had far too much responsiblity in both FH's home and her bio-mom's home. When the kids visited their dad, he fell into the common trap of wanting to make their visits as pleasant as possible with the least amount of friction. He was too passive and pleasing. So his eldest daughter, seeing the lack of leadership in the family, emerged into the alpha role. It appears that this is the case with many of the step-daughter issues we are all having.

When I came along, I saw how much power this girl had over her father and her siblings, and refused to bow (sorry, bad pun) to her authority. All of the conflict since then has been directly related to her unwillingness to give up her alpha role in her father's life, and his reluctance to establish me as the alpha female (for fear of upsetting this child and her threats to cut him off). She is also right pissed about my own daughter's place in the pack hierarchy (something they've had to work out for themselves and will continue to fight over, both being dominant types).

I have tried so hard over the last five years to show FH what was going on, citing human psychology and group dynamics. It wasn't until we adopted our puppy, though, that the light finally dawned in his "alpha male" brain. We are now applying dog psychology to this situation. I have put my foot down as the alpha female in my home and my family. This is a shared position with FH. Once he realized that she believed she was alpha to him, his attitude towards her did a complete turnaround. Just as the dog is not allowed to push him around (this dog will eventually be 160 lbs), neither is the kid. Nor is she allowed to push me around.

As parents and step-parents, just as dog handlers, the goal for us is to establish "calm assertiveness" in ourselves and "calm passiveness" in the kids. A bit simplistic, I know, but so far this attitude has been quite effective in clarifying our roles.