new and need help/insight!!!
Long story but am needing advice....here goes. I have been with my SO for 3 years living together 2. I have a daughter,5, and he has a daughter at home, 16, that sees her mom rarely. Problem; I was taught in therapy to journal in order to assess my private feelings. His 16 year was snooping and found my journal in my bedroom on my nightstand. Not only did she read it she made copies gave them to my SO and her mother. Shared them with her sisters, grandmother and posted online. She tells me it was a mean and malicious attack on her and her dad. She yells how much of a horrible person I am also how a 'sane' person would never write such hateful things. Her father was hurt and told me that I hurt his daughter intentionally therefore I should move out til she goes to college. I feel that the journal wasnt addressed to her nor for her. It was my personsl thoughts and how I deal with things without overreacting or saying something I dont really mean. Wasnt this an invasion of my personal space? It wasnt meant to hurt anyone but she doesnt see what she did as wrong. Im not sure if her dad does either. HELP.
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I agree. Your SO and Sbrat
I agree. Your SO and Sbrat will hold this over your head for years.
If SO hasn't understood SD was snooping in your room then he will never get it. He will only think about what you wrote.
Get out before your DD is hurt by them too.
Wow. I don't know how it can
Wow. I don't know how it can be so difficult for either of them to see what she did wrong. I don't see how any part of that situation was intentional on your part.
I'd just stay calm when dealing with all of them, and stick to your guns. You know you didn't do anything wrong. I'd just keep repeating, "that journal was not meant for your eyes. Therefore, if you weren't invading MY privacy, there wouldn't be any problems".
If your husband is that oblivious to what his daughter did wrong, there is clearly a major disconnect. And he must be in complete and utter denial.
I'm sorry you're dealing with that. I can't believe there is even an argument. She totally crossed the line.
I'm with Foxie on this
I'm with Foxie on this one....I promise you that is just a taste of what you will getting down the road...Been there done that..he won't change period. And I promise just because they go to college doesn't mean it will be any different..actually it has gotten worse for me. I am saying all this because I am living with that same kind of attitude from my Husband towards his 20 year old daughter.
I couldn't agree more with
I couldn't agree more with what Foxie & the others are advising you. And, as Miss doormat said, the behavior & attitude only get uglier the older the kid gets. I did move out (my choice) until my SD went to college and it DID get worse! And, if you move out, you've relinquished all your status as a co-leader of the family. However, he's already demoted you by taking her side when she's obviously the one at fault. Do yourself a favor and Follow Foxie's steps.
I totally agree with Foxie,
I totally agree with Foxie, this was an unforgiveable invasion of your privacy and there is absolutely no excuse for that or her subsequent behaviour. Having said that, I would in future not keep your personal journal in view on your nightstand, at least put it in a drawer, and preferably locked away. I keep mine in a locked drawer in a chest. I do not think my DH would read it but I don't trust my SDs an inch.
I think there is also a problem with your SO if he doesn't think she did anything wrong.
All the advice I have for you
All the advice I have for you is duplicates of what has already been said. Get out. He doesnt see it now then he never will. Keep your chin up. Journal's are private and for the reason's you said. To express yourself so you don't blow up on something that you'll regret later. I'm sorry for your hurt in this and Hope you realize you did nothing wrong.