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The little things

bjc26's picture

Submitted by bjc26 on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 4:54pm

So last night we were getting ready for bed and doing our nightly routine with BM called....it was about 7:30 pm. Now I've heard my husband tell her before what the skids bed time is....which is 8:00 pm. SS was upstairs taking a shower so BM only got to talk to SD. What I'm trying to get at is that when my husband answered the phone he answered it all cutesy like saying "Pizza Hut." Sort of just struck a nerve seeing as how he used to work there and that where they first met. The other night we were sitting at dinner and SS looked at his dad and said "Daddy you should hook up with mommy at McDonald's." We all just sort of looked at him like what? Both skids call me mommy as well as their BM. Then he continues to tell us so daddy can at least be friends with BM. McDonald's is where they used to work together at. I know he probably didn't mean anything by answering the phone that way but lately I've been having bad dreams about him leaving me while I'm pregnant for his ex-wife and kicking me out of OUR house so the ex can move in. I really don't feel very supported by him right now. I made the comment Monday night about wanting to kill myself on a daily basis and that I needed help as in counseling and he just look at me with a condensending tone "You're really not that happy?" Then he walked out of the room.

I'm sorry I was just venting and I'm slightly stuck on the way he answered the phone last night.

Comments

soverysad's picture

Submitted by soverysad on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 5:00pm

bjc - I hope you aren't seriously feeling like you want to kill yourself. Please get counseling to help you through your feelings and insecurities. Please, please, please!

"A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist counts on the wind changing, a realist adjusts his sails"

TheBrightSide's picture

Submitted by TheBrightSide on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 5:03pm

Honey, if you're having suicidal thoughts, you need to speak to someone. Anyone. Perferably a professional, but if not, a trusted friend.

Its not just the way he answered the phone...its a thousand little things isn't it. You're feeling unloved. Its simple. Think about what exactly you need from him. Then talk to him. Easier said than done, I know.

You need to talk to someone about your thoughts of killing yourself. Please.

Wicked.Witchy.Woman's picture

Submitted by Wicked.Witchy.Woman on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 5:04pm

I have felt that way so many times! Not so much about the DH leaving me for BM, although if BM had her way..., but the feeling of not being supported and feeling literally suicidal! I know what you're going through. I thought maybe I was the only one crazy enough to feel that way, or maybe I was just being melodramatic. I am certainly not feeling any joy in your situation, but relief that I'm not the only one who's felt that way. There have been so many times that I've been emotionally hurt by my 13SS, and DH just doesn't see it, or sympathize, or does nothing to correct the problem with SS. It makes you feel helpless. I do so much more than I should for SS, to the point where I feel like a single parent on the really bad days, and DH just doesn't get it. For example, I recently said that I'm done being the homework Nazi, and I changed the email address on SS's online grades to DH's email address, so he gets the alerts when a grade has changed. It used to be mine, and I would have to deal with it. When DH found the email in his inbox, he asked if I changed it and I told him I had, so that he could keep up with SS's school work, he got all pissy and mumbled as he walked away. It's times like that when I feel like you do. They just aren't getting the picture and don't seem to empathize with our feelings.

Keep your head up, he'll come around, even my DH does. Your DH might just need some time to process what you told him, or he may think you're exaggerating. Maybe call and make an appointment with a counselor and ask him to go with you.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Fri, 02/19/2010 - 7:35pm

Go get counseling, even if you aren't literally feeling suicidal. You need some type of support. Counseling would be a good start. My family is in family counseling as well as individual at times.

My DH used to refer to himself as daddy bear and SS as lil bear. I thought it was cute until SS told DH to call momma bear. WTF? That was their family pet names, and SS lives with us. I told DH that it was inappropriate for the cute family jokes/inside stories they used to have. I told him that if he still wanted that life, then he should go be with BM. He didn't realize it was hurting my feelings until I told him. Men just don't know sometimes. Talk to him about it again and let him know how serious you are.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus