I was told today that all my fears are just fears that aren't based in reality. Those being :
-the fear of SO and I not having our own space
-that other people /situations have or will take primary control over our relationship.
-that I'm not going to be supported
-that I'm unloveable
-getting hurt /rejection
-not being first
-abandonment
-that we will only do family activities.
(All but the last SO came up with)

So I asked his insecurities :
-abandonment
-that blue highlighter can find ten other guys other than SO
-that he'll be asked to manage two separate lives
-that I'll talk advantage of him
-that no matter what he'll always accept the situation and forgive me
-that he'll give and give and it'll never be enough
-that his happiness always takes a back seat
-that the squeaky wheel always the one that gets the oil

Later I sat down w SS and asked him what kinds of activities he'd like for us all to if as a family.
SO thinks I don't give them a choice and that they are always running to this other bitcht family to hang out bc I don't wanna be w them. Aghhhhhhhhhhhh
He still thinks the child has never rejected me.

My head hurts. Why do I get the brunt of the responsibility for this dynamic. Wtf
I'd like for us to be a family but that also means us living in the same house and being nice to each other or talking about our feelings if we are pissed. Not just tacking me in to all the activities in their life as is. Mainly spending all free time w these bitchy ass people that lack the ability to have intimacy in their own marriage so they drink and have SO and SS over to distract them.

Idk. From the list does anyone see what could be worked on? Thanks.