Jungle Book vulture syndrome?
Had whole Saturday alone to myself, and was thinking of this topic in regards to fiancee and was wondering if this happens to anyone else or if this "disorder" has a name. He will not make plans or decisions in general, it is always me. When I try to get him to make one, or simply ask "What do you wanna do, go, watch on TV, eat...?" I get the "I dunno, what you wanna do?" (hence title post for any disney movie viewers) At times I make the "right" decision and he seems happy with the plans I have made or what I have chosen, but many other times we sit there doing absolutely nothing, or he will passive-aggressively express his disdain, such as playing Solitaire on his phone instead of watching the TV show I picked, or sighing and acting like a 5 year old because I chose to go to a bookstore to kill time because he wouldn't give input on something to do. It has gotten to the point that if I want to do something for my birthday, or an anniversary, I have to just plan it and inform him about it. I don't even know what to call this behavior, but it is annoying!
- borrowedtime83's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Never having to make a
Never having to make a decision means that he never has to be held responsible if the decision was wrong. Instead, he forces you to make all of the decisions and then blames you. YOU are always responsible, he's not.
Start forcing him to make some decisions. If you don't - you will always be the bad guy in your relationship and he will never have to be responsible for anything.
He's a passive agressive avoider. Also commonly known as the baby personality or the parental seeker.
My ex was very much like
My ex was very much like this. His entire personality and life evolved around someone else making all of his life decisions. It was awful. I remember trying to quit smoking while I was with him. During my lunch break from work we met up to eat. He took no less than 5 minutes to pick out a bag of chips..kept saying which one do you want? ( out of the 3 choices) Because I didn't give input he couldn't decide. I flipped out threw some plastic forks at him and left.
People that are like this cannot give emotional support that is needed in a relationship..you are quite literally on your own..but with someone else to choose for as well and you best make the right decision. My ex needed help with every thing..little things like movies, what to eat was a constant battle so much so that I just stop eating with him all together. Also large things. To this day he blames ME for him not going to college. I encouraged him to go to school and wanted him to but because I didn't put forth the effort of filling out the paper work, picking out what major he would go for and quite honestly giving him a step by step play of who,what,where,when,why and how..it was MY fault. These types of people want to take no responsibility for anything. In his case I truly do believe he was just afraid of failing.