BM during the call with the kids today told SS9 she would not send him anything for his birthday that just passed, or the rice krispy treats and brownies she has been saying was in the mail since november, or any cards etc....until DH sends her a hard drive.

WTF? SERIOUSLY?

She is halfway monitored because of all the BS she tells the kids so I heard him ask when his presents were going to come, and heard him ask what? dad needs to send what? So I questioned him about it afterwards and he was upset and said that that was what she said.

OMG I am livid. I told him that sorry, DH was not sending her ANYTHINg. And sadly, although it is not fair to him, if she would like to choose to behave that way then that is her responsibility and choice and was not his fathers fault. He kind of sulked a bit, and so I re-explained it a bit for him and he said he understands. I mean I am sure he doesnt understand, and I sure the hell dont understand why she would use her child like that...but at least he gets that his dad isn't sending anything to her, and that he is not responsibile for her choices.

I am so angry I want to chew her out but I doubt that will help the situation at all. At what age is it ok to explain to a child these kinds of things?

On the positive side of things SS8 keeps telling DH he is too old for hugs (his birthday was last week), but when I tuck him in at night he asks me for one lol. That kind of makes my day. And SD3 has been glued to me for several days just snuggling, dancing, painting nails, shopping. It has been nice.