SS is back home for the school year back to every other weekend
Saturday we took SS back to his mom for the school year. We have him next weekend and then its back to every other weekend. I made it through the summer relitivly unscathed. I am so glad everything is back to normal. Saturday night and Sunday my house was quiet and calm. My DH is visably calmer, nobody has yelled or cried. I have made meals and everyone has eaten and no one complained or refused to eat. DH, our daughter and I spent Saturday night and all day Sunday together, we watched movies on the couch and ran a few errands. Dh didn't feel stressed and withdrawl he engaged with me and with our daughter, hell even with the dog. Next weekend SS is only here Saturday 1:30 through Sunday evening and then not for almost 2 weeks. Saturday we will be celebrating his birthday so there will be people there all evening and he will be hoped up on cake so that should go well and then I just have to make it through Sunday.
I feel as if a weight has been lifted, nobody in my life understands how hard it is to be with SS all day everyday because no one else is with him as much as me. I am with that child more then anyone else in his life and I feel bad that I have such a negative attitude about it but I can't help that he has no social skills and has major behavioral issues that everyone else has just given up on. Hopefully there will be some changes before this all starts again next summer, last week seemed to be an eye opener for DH but I realize with him only here every other weekend again it will be hard to bring about any changes. Well I am going to be cautiously optomistic and just be happy for what I do have, a wonderful daughter and a husband who loves me. For right now thats enough and I know since I have that I can make it through SS, MIL, BM and all the bullsh*t for another year.
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I agree. I'm happy that
I agree. I'm happy that school is starting again. I can't say its easier having long bouts inbetween because I think SO just feels more guilty when they are here, but its easier on me and peace is more frequent.
all I can hope is that later the skids will get busy with their own lives.
It is easier when they aren't
It is easier when they aren't here for such long stretchs. Plus I think DH does feel guilty, not like some of the dads on here where he feels guilty so he spoils but he can't handle his son and it makes him feel guilty and he withdrawls.
That's different from my SO.
That's different from my SO. The less they are around, the more he's working to please them, following them around. BUT on the other side of it you can see him getting tired of doing it. Getting frustrated. He will withdraw some from me because he needs alone time. He doesn't know how to just leave the kids alone though. The guilt is too strong. He says all the time, "I like spending time with them"
But what happens is you see him getting short about other things and more easily frustrated. I just stand back and I don't give him a target.
He doesnt' always like being up their assess and being their circus clown, but he can't let himself not do it.
See I have to beg DH to do
See I have to beg DH to do stuff with him half the time, he expects me to be happy to play mommy to SS but he doesn't want to spend time with him because he is difficult. I keep telling him you don't get to give up because its hard when it comes to your child. He doesnt' do that to our daughter he is like a whole nother person with her.
I really don't know which is
I really don't know which is worse. I find it pathetic that a 36 year old father follows his 11 and 15 year old children around and constantly saying 'what do you want to do', 'what do you want to eat' and taking them shopping and to movies all the time.
I especially hate with SD is getting her "time" and SO is constantly asking "are you ok? Do you need to talk". :sick:
Exactly they both are bad,
Exactly they both are bad, Our men need to find a balance betweeen the two. Moderation in all things is what most of these men are missing, it all or nothing with so many of them.