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The GRAND BM Birthday!

BSgoinon's picture

So, today is the "BIG DAY"! BM just HAD to pick SS up from school because today is HER BIRTHDAY!!! DH told her last night that SS needed to be home by 330 because he has baseball practice at 4. She agreed to have him home by 3:30, but said she wants to see him on Thursday too. Well, at 2:05 (school gets out at 1:50) DH text me and said "BM keeps calling me, I'm in a meeting. Can you please make sure SS is ok". Ok, fine. So I call her. I already checked his phone location and saw that he was home.

BM- Hi, I was just calling you. I took SS home, I'm having a really bad day and I'm trying not to cry.
ME- Ok, what's up?
BM- I took SS home. He said he has homework and he wants to just do something for my birthday next week.
ME- OK, well he has to umpire a game tomorrow so he needs to be home early tomorrow too
BM- He doesn't want me to pick him up tomorrow. I will just see him at his basketball game on Saturday
ME- OK- have a good day
BM- You too *click*

I am so very proud of him. FINALLY speaking his mind. FINALLY telling her that he doesn't want her to pick him up. FINALLY!

Oh, and in case you were wondering, NO, I didn't wish her a Happy Birthday }:)

Comments

BSgoinon's picture

I am SO proud of him. I hate that it has come to this for him. But I really want him to be able to be honest with her and tell her when he doesn't want to see her. This is his life, his choice. She brought all of this on herself.

Maxwell09's picture

It's really good that he is starting to tell her how he feels even if it hurts her feelings. He already has enough to worry about being an older boy, he shouldn't have to worry about her happiness at the cost of his own. She won't ever really think he doesn't want her until he's the one to make it clear to her that she needs to change. Maybe a ruined birthday is the kick in the pants she needs to readjust her life. Doubtful.

BSgoinon's picture

It will probably make her worse. Any day now she will literally be living in her car.

Amcc13's picture

I have been reading your last few blogs and it sounds like your stepson is starting to grow into his own man , he is really starting to develop good strong opinions and most importantly he is vocing then well. I hope this gives her the kick to step up not just send her on a pity party spiral
Good luck for the games this week, hope he does well!

BSgoinon's picture

He is turning in to quite the young man. I am so proud of him. And what makes it even sweeter is that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he is making these choices based on his OWN observations. Even through everything she has done this past year, we have not spoken poorly of her. The "worst" thing we have said is that she is not in a good place right now. He has figures this out on his own.

hereiam's picture

Good for SS. Although I'm sad for him having her for a mother, I am so glad he is going to be strong enough to not let her drag him down with her.

So, you didn't fall for her little sympathy plea? :sick: Poor, poor BM. Sad

justanothergurlNJ's picture

No matter how much we try to shelter them form the truth eventually they grow into adults and see things for themselves. You and DH have always protected him and never bad mouthed BM and at the end of the day he is growing into a smart young man and is seeing the truth.

My baby daddy is similar to your BM. He was in and out of jail, he would come around to see the kids and as long as he was sober I would let the kids spend time with him. I never talked bad about him in front of them and always tried to encourage a relationship between them. Unfortunately when he would go on a drinking binge he would disappear even end up in jail. As time went on my kids just gave up on him and slowly started saying no when he came around. I couldn't force them tho I still encouraged them. Now at 14 and 18 they don't ever ask about him, they see him on the street and walk past him as if he is a stranger, it's really sad for him and them. Yet to this day if he came knocking on my door or approached my kids I would still encourage them to try to build a relationship with their sperm Donner. But at the end of the day it's up to them. This is where your SS is heading. Thank God he has you and DH to guide him and be there to catch him when he falls. He sounds like he is going to be a good man one day!

BSgoinon's picture

Reading this brought tears to my eyes. I really never wanted this for SS. BM has always been a pain in the ass but he has always loved her so much. She was involved (lazy, but involved) in his life up until 6 months ago. Sure it was slowly dwindling over the past few years, but she was at least involved enough to keep him on her days even if she didn't come to his games or get involved in his school stuff. She was "there". He started living with us full time in November. He had his mom for the first 12 years of his life and now, she is just gone. And he is moving on with his life. I don't know which would be easier, to grow up without my mom at all, or to have her until I am 12 and then her turn in to THIS. Either way, it is sad.

justanothergurlNJ's picture

It's funny I don't talk or think of him often. SO were driving home from the gym last night and I am not sure how the conversation came to be, but I said you know it's kind of sad that he has no idea what great kids they are! My son is a senior in HS and off to college next year, has been driving for a year now, my daughter started freshman year, she does competition cheer and is REALLY good at it. And he knows NOTHING about HIS children or the people they are becoming.

BSgoinon's picture

I have said that several times over the past month. I even said it to BM's stepmom last week. BM has NO IDEA what she is missing out on. SS is such a great kid. And she is just walking away from him. Fool.