So I talked to my father in law last night who is very active in the AA community, a leader and sponsor.  He told me he's fighting the same fight with his wife and I am with my husband.  The enablers.  DH's mom is constantly giving SD money.  SD calls whens she needs money and claims she will come help around the house.  She'll get the money and never show back up to do the work.  Yet grandma keeps on giving.  He said we need to let her fend for herself and stop enabling her (which I don't, it's only DH & his mom).  He said she needs to want to change for herself and she won't as long as everyone else is supporting her.  He said she needs to hit rock bottom and everyone's rock bottom is different.  Unfortunately it may take a disaster for her to hit rock bottom.

I sat down with DH last night and talked to him about this.  He said he knows she has a problem and he knows she is throwing away her future by basically giving up her senior year and not going to school, failing all courses, not going to college and currently working a gig that caters but she only works when they call her.  She's been fired from 9 jobs for calling off or no shows.  All of this because of alcohol and husband knows it.  He offered her a job at his work and she declined it.  

He recently paid for some repairs on her car to be done because he promised her that as a gift for her graduation.  He said as of now he is done supporting her.  I really hope he means it.  If I find out that one of my hard earned dollars goes toward her, we will have separate finances.  I hate to that because we are married, we are a team.  But this 1/2 of the team can not support his daughter any longer.

I hope that something clicks with her before it's too late.