Sorry so long, but I just couldn’t stop, feels good to be able to tell people who understand what it’s like.
Uugh! I am so frustrated and I have had it with women who use their children as a tool to get want they want. I am new to this site and have not said a whole lot about the situation so I’ll give the background. My BF and the BM have been separated for over a year and half. He had finally had enough and left, which she did like very much. She went to the courthouse and filed a restraining order in which she made up a bunch of bull crap and also asked for temporary sole legal and physical custody. Obviously he went to court to contest it. When he went he said that he was contesting the part about the sole phys & legal custody, not knowing that he had to contest the entire thing to get it thrown out. Well the order was granted and he could have no contact with her, her family or the daycare provider that his son went to. He in turn had to put an order for protection against her because she would purposely find him and be in the same place as him then threaten that she was going to call the police cause he was violating the restraining order, just by being in the same place as her! Ridiculous!
So anyway he is unable to see his son for just over 6 months, (at the time he didn’t have the money to retain a lawyer). He tried father’s advocate groups, his parents tried talking to hers, his brother tried talking to her but she would cuss and swear at his mom, who is one of the nicest people I have ever met, saying everything was her fault and that my BF was a piece of sh*t because of her and she sent text messages to his brother with all kinds of nasty things (and yes he saved all of those and has them on file). She didn’t care that he was missing out on his sons first steps, first words, etc. She just wanted to hurt him and that was the only way she could do it.
After 6 months divorce is filed for, he had the money loaned to him for the lawyer and he finally got to start seeing BS again and the circus began and it’s been going for a year and a half. So far she’s given him 44% parenting time, she refuses to give him anymore because in my state if he’s over 45% then he would pay her $300 a month less in basic child support. She actually told him that she can’t afford to live and pay her bills cause she’s only working 3 hrs a day because she’s due in march (pregnant again, not my BFs, so it’s not his problem, HELLO!) and that she won’t give him more parenting time so he would have to pay her more and there’s nothing he can do about it unless he wants to take her to trial, which costs more money that he/we don’t have. So Aggravating!! She tries to tell people, like the judge, that their son isn’t adjusting well to the parenting schedule now and that’s why she doesn’t want to give more, if not reduce the amount of time he already has him to EOW and 1 day per week (then she would get even more money). When SS is with us he is always happy and very playful. He doesn’t throw fits (but they may be coming, Terrible Twos), he’s always very excited to see his dad even if he was out of the room for just minute and he never ever asks for BM or cries for her when he is with us. So I guess I don’t see the adjustment problem.
It pisses me off that there are women out there who would deprive their child of their father, or vice versa, just so they could get more money. People need to stop using their kids to gain advantages for themselves. It’s like, just get over yourself and think about the child now! I’ve always thought it would be nice to have and island somewhere where we could take all the stupid people and just dump them onto it and let them go about their stupid ways, it would make the world a better place, don't ya think :).