Half-Siblings and Custody Modifications
Looking for insight or opinions from others who maybe have had similar situations.
So, a little background: DH and BM reopened their case over a year ago for modification. I won't go into too many details as to what DH is seeking to modify because it's not relevant to my question. But BM is seeking to modify to 50/50 at minimum.
During their original divorce, DH was named the custodial parent and BM the NCP, despite that at the time the divorce was finalized, BM had a new baby, now SD's half-sister.
Fast-forward to now, there's been comments coming from SD and other sources that seem to indicate BM is either pregnant again or looking to get pregnant. BM is absolutely the type of person to do ANYTHING she thinks will give her leverage. For example, in the discovery request she has completed bashed/lied about SD etc in an attempt to claim DH should not be CP.
Anyway, my question is will a new half-sibling have any bearing on the court modifying custody in favor of BM?
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I can’t imagine a judge in
I can’t imagine a judge in their right mind would think that because BM keeps getting pregnant she deserves more custody.
i understand you are propably concerned the judge may not want siblings to be seberated and that them being able to bond is important. However, the judges job is to decide what is best for your sd. Where is she going to have the most stability, the safest environment, the most consistency, emotional support etc.
if BM has a history of not being able to provide these as well as your DH then BM ability to reproduce should have no bearing... at least I’m my honest opinion.
best of luck
I don't think it makes a bit
I don't think it makes a bit of difference.
Why not just agree to 50/50 and avoid court entirely? Or is that not appropriate?
It's really not appropriate
It's really not appropriate for a number of reasons including the home environment and SD's stepdad.
And even if DH agrees to 50/50, he'd still be in court for what he is seeking to modify.
Your bio says you have the SD 60% of the time
Is this really about child support, because I do not see 60/40 as that different from from 50/50
Well during the school year
Well during the school year it's more 70/30. And the original CO gave DH CP and for a time there there was no CS.
the modification DH is seeking has nothing to do with CS or custody. BM is the one who countered now seeking a custody change.
And in our state, 50/50 doesn't mean theres no CS.
So if he ended up with 50/50
There would be no change in CS?
Not a huge change.
Not a huge change.
And even if DH agrees to 50/50 which he won't because it's not in Sd's interest because of issues with BM and SD's stepdad. But even if he were to agree that doesn't mean BM would agree to what DH is seeking so we'd still be in court regardless.
STaround is just implying
STaround is just implying your dh is asking for any change is regarding him receiving CS (her bad assumption).
That said- her request is NOT unusual if the previous order asked for 60/40- 50/50 is not that big of a jump. I don't see her having another kid having much significance on the matter to a judge one way or the other though.
Nope 1/2 siblings dont matter
Nope 1/2 siblings dont matter. UNLESS that side frames it correctly.
Parent in custody modification will use, 1/2 siblings, Grandparents, neighbors, kids friends, activities, "church" friends...2nd cousin 6 times removed as reasons to regain custody.
One example may be: What does matter is when kids grades sink (pas kids will do this on purpose usually teenagers)
1. Childs grades have significantly dropped living with now custodial parent
2. Child is unable to form meaningful bonds with new spouse inside now custodial parents home.
3. Child reports missing former childhood friends.
4. Child wants to have relationship with parent 1 but feeeeeelssss more comfortable at parent 2's home.
4. Child reports he/she can not form bond with new spouses kids who live in the house.
5. Child reports stronger bonds with Grandparents and is unable to spend time with them living with parent 1.
6. Child has run away from parent 1's home on 2 occasions. Child reported they wanted to be with Parent 2 at parents 2's home and that is why they ran away.
----OP it is all about how the modification 'reasons' are framed. its all about the child.
Some states will offer examples of what 'reasons' may result in modification of custody. So, look on line....parents have been known to check each reason off one by one whether factual or planed out to 'get the job done".
Never underestimate a dog on a bone.----crazy isnt it?
Yes it is crazy!
Yes it is crazy!
And yes BM trying to frame it as SD no longer wants to play with her half sister. But there is nothing to back that up except her word. Plus SD is still happy to see her sister when they see each other during SD's time with us. Plus SD is getting older and her interests don't align with her half sister who is still a toddler.
But I can see what you mean about being able to frame it one way or manipulate the situation to fit her wants
Listen---one thing to keep in
Listen---one thing to keep in mind is this,
Kids do BEST with two seperate homes, with two seperate household/family dynamics post divorce/post relationships. Should be equally balanced one way or another.
IF the family was never divorced---and sd decided to not play with another child the family ..the parents inside the home would work it out, or not and let it go. Thats normal family stuff. Having 2 seperate physical addresses doest NOT make it abnormal as much as bm tries to spin it.
GoodLuck
Half siblings never mattered
Half siblings never mattered in our case on either sides. Grades and behavior were the big deals.