He gets it.
DH FINALLY gets it.
He came home from SD11's softball game last night and asked me 'Do you ever have those days with your ex that you just don't want to even talk to them?'
ME: "Every day is like that for me..."
DH: "Well some days more than others?"
ME: "No, most days I don't feel like talking to him."
DH: "BM got mad because I didn't sit by her at the game. I was sitting by another parent and she waved at me to come sit by her and I told her I was going to just stay where I was at."
ME: "What do you expect? You two are BFFs these days..." (I tease him all the time with this)
DH: "But we're not friends. I don't want to be friends. I just want to get along."
ME: "You've lead her to believe what she wants to believe, so she thinks the two of you are friends. She is incapable of being more than what she is and that is a needy, codependent person. I don't talk to my ex every day. We talk once a week...if that even. We usually correspond thru texting or e-mail to avoid the small talk that seems to go with phone calls."
DH: "You're probably right. I guess I'm just getting tired of her."
ME: Shrugs of the shoulders "Sorry about your luck..."
FINALLY...
I think DH was so excited that they were finally getting along, he forgot how much he really doesn't like being around her. Isn't that why we divorce? To start living a life separately?
Guess some of us need to figure it all out on our own.
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RE:
"My DH loathes talking to BM so much that he neglects to do so even when he should to make things go more smoothly..."
Same here! BF completely avoids all conversation with BM, even if it's important or something we need to know. We've planned entire vacations before, not even knowing for sure if SS was coming because BF wouldn't call BM to ask. It gets to the point where I tell him I NEED TO KNOW and he gets all upset and pissy but he finally does call. Usually the call goes just fine, she's been pretty civil this past year or so...he's just so adamantly against speaking to her at any time for any reason that he avoids it as much as possible.
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Same here...LOL
But if you heard how she talked, you wouldn't talk to her either..LOL..Imagine, high society...upward infliction, I am better than all of you voice...LOL..I do the best impression and I only heard her on loud speaker one time, very hard to forget..heheh.
Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*
Mine doesn't LIKE talking to her
But since he's such an "intimidating" man and all, he calls her right up to discuss issues directly.
She usually doesn't answer.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
So,
it is possible? we've been fighting so much cause i don't think he'll ever get it!! i think i'll go home and share this sentence with him later...
"Isn't that why we divorce? To start living a life separately?"
THe Beauty in it All
The beauty in it all is that he is actually starting to get IT. How many guys go years and years without having a clue.
I had an occassion where DH was telling BM that she was no longer welcome to come by the house to pick Skids up for visits if he wasn't home because she is very confrontational with me. She pretends for his sake, but it never fails that when he is away,there is always a confrontation with BM and/or Skids. Her response was she has to defend herself from me. HUH? I am 5'3.5" on a good day and 165 lbs. She is about 5'6" and 200+ lbs.
DH told her that she's a bully and very difficult to get along with. She said that he was just saying that b/c he is with me. DH's response was "No, REALLY - I hate the ground you walk on whether I was married or not and if I never had to see you again it would be to soon." She laughed and said he was such a jokester! HUH? Talk about delusional.
She had several affairs on him and she can't handle the fact that HE filed for divorce and moved on and is quite happy now. I just don't get her, but at least he does. You can dress a snake up, but that doesn't make it a lady.
Hooray for your DH getting it. Now hopefully he remembers it.
My new StepMother's Motto:
When life gives you lemons... Make a damn good Margarita.
Margaritas????
I'll take two...one for each hand.
Or is that Pina Coladas?
(Anne - again with the song quotes
)
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
"Bring me 2 Pina Coladas,
"Bring me 2 Pina Coladas, one for each hand. Let's set sail with Captain Morgan, we'll never leave dry land......"
God - I love Garth!!
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
u know the saying...
god gave u 2 hands so u can have a libation in each!
"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin
Give that man a gold star!
He may become hypnotized by the shiny foil and have even more important revelations.
♥ ANNE 8102 ♥
ooohhhh- shiny
ooohhhh- shiny things!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oooohhhhh margaritas- two of my favorite things!!!!!!!!
There is no reason where logic does not exist
What's the term for that?
Oh YEAH...
Boundaries.... oh- and personal limits.
Sounds like DH may be realizing why they're so important eh?
I can't comment on that one because I do sit with my exh and or his wife, sometimes I can't get a word in edgewise when my DH starts shootin' the breeze with my exH and probably vise versa with me and my sons' SM.
But we're weird like that.
BM ignores we exist on the rare occasions we run into her. If she even sees DH she starts this lip licking tongue thing, like a tick. He laughs when he sees it because it's one of her stress reactions.
Not very attractive though.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Good for him.....
about time...eh?
When people say...
"You need to be friends for the kids", my DH responds, "if we could be friends, we'd still be married".
I don't think I've had anyone say that to me...
because exH, SM and DH and I are all friends.
BM does not allow us even basic civility.
I usually get, "You and your exH are friends? You had coffee with his WIFE? What is WRONG with you guys? You are so odd!"
No one who knows us, especially those who have had to interact with BM in the past, think we should be friends there. They know we'd be quite capable, but BM doesn't have any friends to begin with!
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
Friends......
I think I can sum this up by saying..... If BM and DH were the last two people on earth, the human race would soon not exist.
Stepwitch
Thank you Disney for portraying a positive image on all stepmothers!!!!
Sw, I 2nd that.
In fact, we would have WWIII and it would all be over in a matter of minutes leaving DH to act like Tarzan and commune with the other animals. (He just made extinct the animal called BM). LOL!
My new StepMother's Motto:
When life gives you lemons... Make a damn good Margarita.