You inspired me to do this, too...I remember reading from another thread- you're the one who is unable to give up soda? me too....can't go a day without it
so many calories!
but even with that, i was skinny before, also turned to food for comfort

That complete strangers can be so much alike. I love you for this......it actually gave me an exhale moment and that felt good, so thanks. My list would look somethig like this.....

...making dinner for three people instead of six.
...weekends with no children waking me up to make them breakfast.
...being excited when my phone rang instead of dreading that it might be BM.
...my old figure (before I turned to food for comfort).
...road trips up the coast with my children just because we could.
...late night phone calls from him just to tell me how much he missed me.
...an empty house every once in a while.
...wasting time away without guilt trips.
...my free spirit.
...being able to relax all on my own.
...not being too broke to take a vacation because we are paying for someone else’s lifestyle.
...intelligent conversations that don't revolve around ex-wives.
...the all consuming love I had for him.
...being young and feeling the same.
...anytime of day bike rides at an adult pace.
...feeling empowered rather than beaten down.
...having more than enough time with my kids.
...accomplishing all that was required of me.
...having the ability to dictate my own life and who I was going to share it with.
...my oh so simple life

Thank you again for sharing and reading my mind without me knowing it!!

Nothing comes easy thats worth fighting for.....thats what they tell me!

OK I will go a little different direction

I would not miss
eow
groceries for 7 instead of 3
being told how to spend my time
the guilt
the aggravation
doubting myself
being ignored
being doubted
being on the outside
saving for2-years for vacation
being stuck at home
dealing with people I dont really like all that much
obnoxious dirty fat teenage babies
seperate christmases
cleaning for 7 instead of 3

ok not very up lifting but I am feeling kinda negative right now
thanks for listening/reading!!

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

MY FRIGGIN WEEKENDS!!!! I WANT ALL OF THEM, NOT EVERY OTHER ONE!

My DH, the one I met years ago, the one that listened to me and supported me 100%.

~Evil

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren

You know, I had an issue with guilt trips. People used to use that against me when they wanted something out of me that was totally inappropriate. Part of my learning to enforce my boundaries was not going on guilt trips. Yes, you do have the choice. As I see it, if what you're doing isn't causing anyone any harm or killing someone, don't take the trip. You want to sit down & read while people who are completely capable of making themselves a sandwich go hungry? Fine. What real harm is that? My reaction to guilt trips is this... Have a nice ride, cuz you're going on that guilt trip alone.

Cajun Lady

oh yes the good old days when you could sit around in your pajama and do nothing...now where did I put my lazy day????

“You will never be on top of the world
if you try to carry it on your shoulders.”

what you said was soooooooooo true. i couldn't of said it better.
you speak for so many women out there. but think in the end things should calm down and you might miss your busy days.my son will be 18 in 4 weeks im dreading it but yet waiting a long time for this day to come. many mixed emotions. our relationship is very strained and i'm not sure i can forgive him or some of the things hes done, but oh how i do look forward to the days when things might be quiet again
i'm going to print of your blog,and keep it for that "someday"

Getting to go away to my friends for the weekend...sounds so simple. But we can't take SS anywhere because of his shyness. We are having him 3 weekends this month and the only one he isn't going to be here we have to work, so there goes another month without doing anything.

I know it sounds odd that just because he is shy we can't go but he is so shy he either sits in the car (YES ALL DAY!!) he speaks to no one and if he is outside he hides behind his dads leg. This kids is 12 in a few weeks..It's just embarrassing so we choose to stay home

Catch xx
*Mean People Suck*

-My big beautiful clean house, the one that I built & everything was as I had planned it, my walk in closet & big jaccuzzi tub
- my girlfriends down the street who I could go for walks with & visit
- doing lunch or drinks with my girlfriends
- going to work out 5 times a week
- tanning
- feeling good about myself
- my body that I worked so hard for before being pregnant & turning to food for comfort
- spending my hard earned money on me for a change
- not having to worry about someone elses feeling or if they are going to be crazy or crabby
- not having another woman make decisions that affect my household ( expecially one who I know I am smarter than)
- not having to put someone elses children before my self all the time

On the bright side in the last week I have put myself first for a change & it felt GREAT. I broke down & bought new " fat" clothes for my post baby body for the spring/summer & our upcoming trip. I went to church on Sunday with just my baby & left DH & skids at home in bed or in their pjs. I talked with my minister about what has gone in person ( you ladies are the best for listening & helping me keep my sanity) I left work early & went to my old stylist & got my hair cut & colored & feel 10 years younger. This weekend I am going to go work out by myself ( DH is going to watch the baby ) and we are getting out of the house & having fun if it kills us! He started a new med yesterday & I told him he MUST keep telling himself this is gonna be the answer. Tomorrow I go see our therapist to talk with her about what my MIL told me when we had lunch last week.

I miss the ability to focus on me, without that automatically meaning that I'm taking away from my DH (from his POV)

I miss being able to focus completely on my kids, rather than giving them marginal attention while I try and deal with the SK's

I miss peace, and quiet and time alone

I miss a house that isn't trashed, all the time

I miss being in charge of my paycheck and spending stuff on me without a huge discussion about it. Great that hubby does the finances, but I miss beinging in charge of them sometimes.

I miss the feeling of lack of guilt about just sitting and staring at the tv, rather than doing never ending laundry,dishes, toy pick up, etc

I miss reading. I collapse into bed and don't have the engergy anymore.

Sometimes I fantasize about by DH and SK's going away and not coming back, leaving me and my daughters in the house by ourselves- I miss the time when I didn't do that.

I was dead broke when I was single with 2 kids under 2, but somehow the power of making choices about what only what I wanted was so liberating.

I also miss just buying something for MY kids or having and experince with just THEM without having to justify to DH or somehow make it "fair" to the SD's.

when I buy things for the baby that I need to buy for the skids. They have WII, Play station tons of stuff that gets forgotten.

One really good thing about DH is that I am in charge of the finances & because I make more money he would never dare question what I buy. I think also because he knows that I was financially better off before him that he would never cross that line.

I really miss being able to do what I want when I want instead of planning everything around FSS...I've always been a free spirit and a bit spontaneous, me and my daughter would just decide to do fun things at the spur of a moment...we're both ADHD can't you tell??LOL...now I can't, I have to plan around him.But I plan around him so fiancee can go...I can't imagine life without him.

- I also miss not having to budget my money to feed an extra person...we're so broke right now it's not funny

Sometimes I read your posts and I feel like we are kindred souls! I miss all of those things too in addition to:

....not feeling so stressed out all of the time
....having time to visit with my parents on a daily or weekly basis (I used to do this a lot)
....not having someone else dictate my time
....not taking anti anxiety medication
....not having a feeling of numbness from time to time

I have also turned to food and am at my heaviest weight ever. I'm tired of being fat...TIRED TIRED TIRED!!!