An olive branch sword fight.
The wind last night was horrid. I'm reading the book Twilight and the wind whistling thru my windows did not help my nightmare proned mind. You can only imagine my racing thoughts as my windows shook.
Little did I know that at 9:30 last night that my over active imagination would not be the only producer of unwelcome monsters. The shrillest screech of all would be that of BM's voice when my phone began to ring and I was the only helpless soul still awake to answer it.
She was inquiring if I wanted to go to a concert of a local band with her on Friday night. Fortunately Friday is the company's Christmas Party and a perfect excuse.
However, I believe that DH was in on the plot for my ambush last night. He must have asked me three times this morning what BM wanted and when I finally let him in on the invitation, he confessed that BM had extended her need to "get over all of it and be friends with Colorado Girl"... he just thought it was great that she was "extending the olive branch". I had to physically restrain myself from telling him where the two of them could stick that olive branch.
I'm not her solution. A good therapist is her solution.
I refuse to jump back on the roller coaster that is completely controlled by BM's emotions and mental illness. I have disengaged to a completely comfortable level for myself and refuse to ever regress back to the enmeshment that once was. I give a rat's arse what is going on her life and I would rather have a colonoscopy with no anesthetic than ever be in a social environment with BM again.
So here we are...again. BM is idolizing me, telling DH how great I am and because I am quite aware of proper boundaries and recognizing her bipolar/BPD behavior, I am not jumping in with both feet like I always do. She can slap me upside the head all she wants with her "olive branch"....I have permanently shelved mine. I am now a Jedi Knight and I am turning my back on the Dark Side. The force is strong in this one. 
I'm being made to feel guilty and frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
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Comments
Gawd....
what is wrong with your DH??? Does he not remember Halloween or is he on crack? Does he seriously NOT see how he is so easily manipulated by her moods????
DH and his selective memory...
and his inability to hold grudges.
I think he's like a big dumb dog, beat him one day and he'll still be wagging his tail at you the next.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
CG, didn't she do this to you before?
extend this "olive branch with some sort of "jewelry demonstration" a while back? Wasn't that you or am I mistaken? And didn't it all get blown up in your face?
I think she's just in her "manic" phase again.
Ignore her- and DH. He's a total idiot for playing into her mania.
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
Ugh..
Yes. You are correct. She invited me to go to some jewelry product party (or whatever) and then rescinded a few days later with a guilt trip that she had no money.
She also acted like a complete moron this last Halloween. (THAT olive branch was glued upon my hand by her self invitation and DH's complete lack of sense)
She IS being manic. I will just give her time...and I'll bet you she has a boyfriend before the year is out. Or go back to the same abusive one to get her thru the holidays.
I just don't care anymore.
I am so blasted tired of sacrificing myself to appease her. I'm just done.
Three weeks ago she was hitting on my ex and calling me fat. Now, I'm the BEST and she is so happy that DH is happy with me...because she really likes me.
"Sell your crazy somewhere else...we're all stocked up here..."
I'm over it.
"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley
Don't play the "game"
Right now she's on her upswing, and you clearly see it. She wants to be your buddy, your pal. But like you said, you know the pattern- give it a week, a few days, and you'll be her worst enemy.
Why your DH can't see this same pattern is beyond me, but if HE wants to play, I guess there's no stopping him. I just wish he would keep you the hell out of it.
DHs ex is exactly the same. One day, she's sending him horrible, awful emails and nasty, spiteful voicemails just filled with venom and rage, and the next couple of days she's emailing him, asking if she can do him a favor! WTF? I just tell him to remember the mantra, "IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE"
And she does the same to me...says horrible things to the girls and fills their heads with nasty crap, then turns around and sends me a Christmas present in the mail! HUH?
At first, I was tempted to call the bomb squad just to be on the safe side
, but instead I sent it back- unopened with no explanation.
"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis
Roller Coaster!
DH's ex is BiPolar and I had to disengage (she wanted to be chummy chummy friends-yeah right!)-she no longer talks to either of us and it has been 10 months of bliss (as you know about this disorder-at any time the other shoe can drop)-It was always about her-no concern for anyone else including her son came before her BiPolar issues-and every two years her life blows up and the kid is left on our doorstep when it does-he is 16 now and with us full time.
DH used to "feel sorry for her" as she has an "invisible disability" and used to give in to her every whim for the sake of his son-
Now he would just rather not have anything to do with her and that suits me!
I hope you stick to your plan-it is definitely healthier for you all round!
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
LOL!
"I would rather have a colonoscopy with no anesthetic than ever be in a social environment with BM again."
Your way with wording is just too funny! I'll have to file that one away for future use! I feel the same way ~ not that BM would ever invite me to go anywhere with her.
Seeing the light
re. your BM - its just not worth it! You have been so kind and generous to her and it sounds like she is a psycho 99% of the time in return! Yay CG! you don't need a 'friend' like that!
I think she just wants access to you to pump you for info on DH and your family! why exactly? who knows?!
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin