The “big party” is on Saturday. When they asked if “we” could have a party, I said “sure” and was all about helping them out. (if you recall, I asked for a guest list and addresses from The GF and they acted as if I were asking them to reveal National Secrets)
:?
I backed off and said “no problem” and turned over all responsibilities to the SS and GF. The ONLY thing that DH and I insisted on, was taking care of the birthday cake (they weren’t going to have a cake, GF was going to make cupcakes and that’s it)

Okay, so I didn’t do my normal cleaning this past weekend. DH and I went out of town on Saturday and yesterday was Super Bowl, so there’s vacuuming and dusting which will need to be done. SS doesn’t officially start his new job until next week, but he’s picking up some extra money to hold over by making deliveries for a friends’ pizza place and also picking up a catering job this week for cash payment… in other words, while he’ll have a few days off, he’s going to be busy this week.

GF doesn’t clean… period, end of story, she just doesn’t do it

They haven’t planned a menu for this party and they invited 65 people

They haven’t really done any planning other than sending out invitations

The only people who sent a reply to the RSVP were DH and my family members and some close friends of SS… nobody on her side of the family sent any reply, the RSVP did not say “regrets only” it said “Please RSVP to SS or GF by February 4”

Should they figure that these people aren’t coming? It’s like the baby shower all over again! I asked for a head count from GF’s mother and she said “maybe 25” and about half of that showed up. The whole family has no class!

So, anyway, I’m trying my hardest to just “let it go”
My SIL sent me a text message, asking if she can help or bring anything, I called her back to let her know that I have zero involvement in this party.. (she’ll get the word out to the rest of DH’s family)
My SD is coming up on Friday… I love her dearly, but she’ll do the same thing that her Father does… she’ll try to fix the situation and ‘save’ them by cleaning and she told them that she’d buy/make appetizers, and well, I get annoyed that she’ll come in and do stuff that her brother and GF were SUPPOSED to have done. She acknowledges that this is a bad situation, she’s told her father that she thinks that SS and GF should be forced to help and pay rent and set a move out date, but then when faced with being RIGHT THERE in the midst of it all, she jumps in and rescues her brother.

So, I have to force myself into believing that whatever dust is on the window sills, or crumbs are on the carpet, or makeup on the bathroom counter, has NO reflection on me.

It’s THEIR party, it’s THEIR responsibility to take care of making sure that the house is in order for guests and it’s THEIR responsibility for the food and plates and utensils and napkins and serving platters and decorations, and drinks and ice and every other little detail which I have written down (we throw a lot of parties and I used to have a small catering/party planning business, I KNOW how to do this stuff!)
This party is NO reflection on me or my husband…. Right?
p.s. GF has worked exactly two days in the last two months, SS is pretty much out of work until he starts his new job, how much do you want to bet that my SD is going to wind up giving them money to pay for this party? I can’t figure out how they’re paying for the food and everything and DH promised me that if they asked him for $$ that he would tell me.