Something Has Changed Inside Me...
...and Im not sure whether to be afraid or to feel triumph.
This weekend BM raised a big stink because both SK's had school activities on the same day (her weekend). It says in the divorce decree that, if she or her spouse are unable to take the kids to a school event, DH and I get right of first refusal before she asks anyone else to do it.
She called DH and asked him if he would take one of the kids. He said that he would but it would have to be the closest activity as he had prior obligations and could not leave town. Of course that didnt work for her because SHE didnt feel like driving out of town so she said that she would arrange for a friend to take SD. This is the reason that we had the divorce agreement worded like we did...because she has a habit of pushing her responsibilities off on other parents. So DH tells her if she wont take her he will have me do it so that SD has a parent there with her for support.
BM calls back a short time later and tells DH that she had a talk with SD and she doesnt want to ride with me, she wants Mommy to take her. This really upset DH because he feels that BM is trying to limit me from interacting with the kids and normally I would have agreed that its pretty crappy that she doesnt want to have anything to do with taking her until she finds out I will but this time something changed in me and I didnt care one little bit!!! I actually thought it was great that, for whatever reason, BM decided to do something for the kids. What is wrong with me? 
- CrystalRE's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Not a damn thing!
Not a damn thing!
Nothing wrong with you at all
Nothing wrong with you at all -- embrace it. They have a parent (BM) and if she wants to take over instead of letting you, then let her. They're her kids (no matter how much you do love them/support them also).
I find myself in these same situations but end up being the one who works my a** off so the kids feel like they are loved/supported -- BM could care less on the date it happens (but then later pulls the whole "I'm the parent" thing). Then I get so worked up about BM. I'd much rather her just "man up" and say she'll do it rather than me feeling like she's just using me to get out of some sort of parenting hassle for her.
I know how you feel,
I know how you feel, SteppingUp. I been through the same things for going on six years now. It hurt me so much at first because I tried so hard to be what everyone needed me to be without stepping on any toes. I did things for the kids that BM wouldnt because she was too busy trying to find a man but I found myself feeling worthless no matter how I tried and I think thats why this feeling is so scary. I finally dont care. It finally doesnt hurt! I am finally nearing the point where I no longer hold myself accountable to repair her shortcomings! Woooo hooo!