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my update! sry.. long wknd!

dguiwh2334's picture

Okay so friday when bf got home, I had our talk.. Which in order to write out everything I said, it would take up about 20 blogs Smile
Anyhow, I layed everything out.. The constant contact (texts and calls) betwn him and bm, I brought that up about 6 times before bf finally realized.. It was wrong!!! I went from talking, to crying, to screaming at him while crying lol.. For about 2-3 hrs we talked.. Bf finally started appologising and saying he does love me, he does want me.. That all he wanted was to make me happy, and he missed that mark.. He said I'm unhappy.. I said, no... I love you, and I'm hurting and I wanted to know if your gonna work with me to work on us, and if we stay together we need to resolve this constant argument about bm.. I said when they text and one day bm is calling me a tramp n the next saying she misses him, he disregaurds my feelings and allows bm and him to disrespect me!!! Long long story but already I feel as if sooo much weight has been lifted, I wish I could write everything I said but its too much.. But in all honesty, bf finally realized what he needs to do if he wants to be with me, and he said he is doing that, that he is keeping me and that things are gonna change and I am gonna be number one (after kids of course) sry this is rushed, busy busy. Thank you all so so so so much for helping me friday and giving me the strength and support to stand up to bf and it totally worked, maybe after 3 hrs.. But it worked!! Love you all!!!

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dguiwh2334's picture

Yes! If I could write out all the "I said this" and then "bf said this" you would all be so proud of me!!! So many times bf didn't even know what to say... And already, he is different.. And not the "oh my god DG is a dumbass, her bf will be back to the same next week" different.. Like I feel different, like I used to.. He seems at ease, and I honestly think we are gonna be so much better!!! He is looking at me different even. I also said at one point in our talk "your not the same man you were.. You used to be there for me emotionally, and help me, I could talk to you about anything, and now I can't" just sooo many things I said that needed to be said came out! Thanks so much everyone!

dguiwh2334's picture

Steperg, I completly understand where your coming from, and I've thought that many times.. Bm herself admits she cheated, and they both married for the wrong reason, and were not in love when they married (3 months in bm got preg n they married)
So right after first kid was born, bm was cheating.. Bf told me a while after, he cheated.. He was in his twenties n was in a relationship-marriage where he was unhappy. A few yrs down bm started cheating again (bf found letters-bms friend told me this one day) a few months before bf moved out of marital home he found more letters, texts and emails from a diff man and then decided to leave.. And bm was then seeing her now bf.. And bm filed for d... When bm found out about me, she wanted bf back and started all the games n drama.. So on and so on.. I think any relationship like this takes work, its not easy. But I do love him, and this talk was the first one like that we have ever had!! I know I have a lot at risk... I knew that diving in. I understand and appreciate your advice and concern tho, and thank you! Smile