This kind of statement burns my ass. I have heard it a lot also.
Us women aren't picking FATHERS. We already have them. We are picking PARTNERS. Unless the woman has a fetish or Daddy issues, they are completely separate.
Women need to worry more about what type of Fathers they are after the skid turns 18. If the man still coddles and babies and allows the adult skid to not launch, then that is a major problem.
DSO and I are both counting down the months until youngest skid is 18 and graduated, she may be the only one that does and stay out of jail. We are down to 27 months.
I have the same problem with my DH. He is the typical Disney Dad. Just wanted to have fun and everything seemed great when SD was younger. Fast forward a few years and SD has had a hospital stint, is out of school, highly manipulative etc. Now BM is pretty crazy herself and also was too absorbed in her own problems to parent.
So when I can pull back, I feel sorry for SD but when I have to deal with her, I am more concerned about watching her because she can do some pretty harmful things.
I also found the easiest thing to do was stay clear because no one really wants to take responsibility here--not DH, not BM and certainly not SD. They all look for their own scapegoats. SD tried to tell counselors her various friends were the problem then I was the problem. Well, all those friends she had are gone and I am never around when she is so she ran out of excuses.
So many babysitters have quit too and all for very good reasons. DH is not only Disney but plagued by Guilt and SD has a knack for zeroing in on it like crazy.
I wish I had answers but this board really helps to see others out there in the same situation
I have this issue with DH. Also a Disney Dad. I told him last night he fights for all of this precious time with his kids and then doesn't want to be a parent... he leaves it to me to make sure they are fed, hydrated, clean and entertained. He wants to be the fun, cool guy. He was building the skids a fort in the living room and getting visibly frustrated after 5 minutes with the skids jumping around and acting out of control - this is the monster he created, I stood there and watched with a grin on my face. The bottom line is I realize over and over again it isn't my problem and these cutesy little kids are going to grow up with major issues due to the lack of parenting.
99% of men feel that raising the chilluns is wimmuns work. It took my DSO 2 years of 100% custody that I was done with raisin chilluns and if he wanted them full time, he had to do 90% of the work, not me.
I just addressed this with a counselor. We are eowe and dh and the counselor think twice a mths I NEED to be with SD10. Yes from 5pm Friday night until 2pm Sunday I need to bond with her. He has things to do. Ummm nope.
Comments
This kind of statement burns
This kind of statement burns my ass. I have heard it a lot also.
Us women aren't picking FATHERS. We already have them. We are picking PARTNERS. Unless the woman has a fetish or Daddy issues, they are completely separate.
Women need to worry more about what type of Fathers they are after the skid turns 18. If the man still coddles and babies and allows the adult skid to not launch, then that is a major problem.
DSO and I are both counting down the months until youngest skid is 18 and graduated, she may be the only one that does and stay out of jail. We are down to 27 months.
I have the same problem with
I have the same problem with my DH. He is the typical Disney Dad. Just wanted to have fun and everything seemed great when SD was younger. Fast forward a few years and SD has had a hospital stint, is out of school, highly manipulative etc. Now BM is pretty crazy herself and also was too absorbed in her own problems to parent.
So when I can pull back, I feel sorry for SD but when I have to deal with her, I am more concerned about watching her because she can do some pretty harmful things.
I also found the easiest thing to do was stay clear because no one really wants to take responsibility here--not DH, not BM and certainly not SD. They all look for their own scapegoats. SD tried to tell counselors her various friends were the problem then I was the problem. Well, all those friends she had are gone and I am never around when she is so she ran out of excuses.
So many babysitters have quit too and all for very good reasons. DH is not only Disney but plagued by Guilt and SD has a knack for zeroing in on it like crazy.
I wish I had answers but this board really helps to see others out there in the same situation
I have this issue with DH.
I have this issue with DH. Also a Disney Dad. I told him last night he fights for all of this precious time with his kids and then doesn't want to be a parent... he leaves it to me to make sure they are fed, hydrated, clean and entertained. He wants to be the fun, cool guy. He was building the skids a fort in the living room and getting visibly frustrated after 5 minutes with the skids jumping around and acting out of control - this is the monster he created, I stood there and watched with a grin on my face. The bottom line is I realize over and over again it isn't my problem and these cutesy little kids are going to grow up with major issues due to the lack of parenting.
99% of men feel that raising
99% of men feel that raising the chilluns is wimmuns work. It took my DSO 2 years of 100% custody that I was done with raisin chilluns and if he wanted them full time, he had to do 90% of the work, not me.
I just addressed this with a
I just addressed this with a counselor. We are eowe and dh and the counselor think twice a mths I NEED to be with SD10. Yes from 5pm Friday night until 2pm Sunday I need to bond with her. He has things to do. Ummm nope.