Dh is a sucky father and I got jealous of the BF's mother.
I hate how he doesn't fucking call SD.
I hate it because it creates a distance between her and us so when she comes over after being gone for a little while, it just feels awkward.
I hate it because I'm having a child with him and how could he not call his kid and check up on her?
He just lets its go and forgets about it.
I just asked now "have you called SD?"
And he looked defensive. He definitely wasn't expecting me to ask that.
"Why are you asking?"
"Well, cause usually you tell me how she is doing and you haven't so I assume you haven't called her"
"Last time I spoke to her was a Monday"
I guess he thought it was past Monday - nope...it was the 13th!!!
It's been like two whole weeks! Wtf.
We got SD a bike during our baby shower a couple of months ago. And when she comes over, I work with her on riding it because she's nervous and still learning. She said she doesn't ride or have a bike at BM's house. Last time she was here, she road nicely but I still had to hold her. I was looking forward to the day I just let her go and she continues. I knew it would happen soon.
Well, BM's boyfriend's (of almost 2 years) mother posted a video on Facebook titled
"MY BABY IS GETTING SO BIG!"
At first I thought it was a video of the new baby...cause...calling SD "my baby" makes me sick. Or maybe feel a little threatened. Listen woman, you haven't been around as long as I have. She wasn't even a baby when YOU came around. You haven't seen how big she's really gotten. "My baby". Ugh. That's MY (and BM's) baby!
(Lol. I know I sound ridiculous. Shut up. It was a little jealous moment)
It would have been different if it were BM, cause that's her mother.
But I played the video and this woman's new boyfriend was holding a bike that SD was riding. He let go, and she just continued. The BF's mother as cheering and it was nice to see someone be so excited for SD doing something new. I'm just upset i missed it. I guess they just got her a bike there. Made me kinda jealous but whatever.
Would have been nice if DH called like he should be. SD would have been so excited to tell him the news that day.
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Comments
Why does mom get any of the
Why does mom get any of the blame in this? As long ae she isn't withholding the child from dad, then she isn't doing anything wrong.
Mom shouldn't be tasked with ensuring dad stays in touch with his child. He's the one responsible for fostering that relationship, not mom.
OP, why would you have a child with a man you feel us a sucky father? :?
*****
*****
Perspectives change when you
Perspectives change when you have your own child, about many, many things. You'll find bigger holes in your DH's character for one. Be happy for your SD too, don't look at it as you having competition from the 'StepGran' look at it as SD having another great person in her life who looks out for her. You just have to read about all the dysfunction here to be thankful for that! The more people that truly care for your child the better I say!
Totally agree Disneyfan.
Totally agree Disneyfan.
Double ~ You are the one who
Double ~
You are the one who began the bicycle lessons ~ you empowered yourself to teach her. They might have gotten the gravy watching the finished product but you were there holding onto the bike ~ your Sd was probably scared but remember who was there cheering her one. Hold those memories !!!
You can encourage your DH all you want to speak to SD but ultimately it all comes down to priorities ~ you can't force it. It's all on him. Sad but so true. Hopefully he will fix that issue ~ or he is gonna be for a rude awakening when she wants nothing to do with him.
I know. It just suck. She's
I know. It just suck. She's not going to remember all that. She's going to remember the first time she rode all by herself.
And Disney, I agree. BM shouldn't have to be responsible for making sure they keep in touch.
Though, it would help. There really is no excuse for DH but he does work long busy hours. Still he should make the time or at least remember to call on his days off.
SD did tell me that sometimes she asks BM to call DH and BM tells her no or says "later" and then SD forgets.
- that, I don't think is cool.
BM has SD call MiL once in a while.
BM enjoys hating and beating up on DH. So she wouldn't do anything (EXTRA) to help him so that she can hold it over his head later.
That's just how she is.
I agree. And I think DH knows
I agree.
And I think DH knows this. He would be really hurt if I brought it up. He knows he needs to do better.
But it just drives me nuts sometimes. That's the kind of man he is with things. Not just SD but anything. If I need anything to get done or if he has any responsibilities he needs to take care of, I'm always having to push and remind him otherwise it doesn't get done.
I was talking to MIL yesterday about it. She said he's always been that way. He will work long hours and be 100% dedicated to work. Move up and go far and beyond. But when it comes to everything else? He's a dud. He's gotta be reminded or motivated.
See - like tonight, DH called
See - like tonight, DH called and BM never answered.
He waits for a call back which she normally does but sometimes she doesn't. And tonight is one of those nights.
He just text her to tell her to have SD call.
I also think when this happens, he just gives up.
He has mentioned how he can't wait till SD has her own phone so he doesn't have to go through BM.