uh oh, SD wants to stay with us and BM's reaction...
}:) SD went home last night and the whole time she was whining that it's not fair she was with us for such a short time and is at her mom's house longer.
She made that comment out loud during the exchange saying she wanted to stay with her dad longer. BM looked embarrassed and laughed it off while putting SD into the car - trying to ignore her comment.
This is how I know DH's threat for primary custody would work. BM backed down with her crazy as soon as DH showed her the reality of that and the consequences her actions will have.
SD has expressed on multiple occasions about wanting to live with us / see us more and see MIL and FIL more often (who live 2 miles from us)
I'm pretty sure BM is worried about it. And SD is an independent fireball, so theres no way BM can really manipulate her about it. SD will want to do whatever she wants and she will express how she feels. Right now she's only 6 going on 7 but I'm sure in a couple more years her voice will only get louder about it and I wouldn't doubt it if she ended up moving in with us.
but anyway, BM's reaction to her comment was just too funny.
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Lol. I don't get it...
Lol. I don't get it...
Omg no, but that is
Omg no, but that is Hilarious!
DH has always wanted primary.
DH has always wanted primary.
Bm is not mentally stable and has a lot of issues.
She has zero family supports and writes off her entire family.
She puts SD in the middle of her problems. There are constant fights between BM and her BF.
She doesn't work and apparently sleeps all day and leaves SD to watch tv for hours.
As far as SD's psychological well-being, BM is terrible.
The less influenced SD is by her, the better.
DH can provide better for SD. Not only that but he's better at co-parenting. He stresses the importance of SD Spending time with all of her family even BM and her's while BM feels it's only important for SD to be around her, her boyfriend, and DH.
God forbid if SD and I or SD and MIL spend time together with or WITHOUT DH being around.
DH would be a better primary parent than she is.
Besides. Sd mentions it on her own. I don't know what's been going on in jer home in details that SD lately has been stressing that she wants to live with us and see MIL more.
I already know that. DH
I already know that.
DH isn't going for primary.
At least not right now because like you said, SD is only 6 and they wouldn't care what she says.
I know unless BM is a cracked out mom, that his chances are slim.
What I said or meant was that I can see SD living with us in the future when she's older and can try to have more of a say and also be HEARD in court.
DH threatened BM. That's all it was. BM has a longgggggg record in this case and DH was only pointing out how she already has had so much shit against her and if she doesn't stop being crazy then he's going after PC. It was enough to simply scare her straight.
We can't afford to go back right now. DH wouldn't go all in for PC Unless it's something SD expressed wanting when she's a little older.
Or unless we win the lottery
Oh man if BM said that, DH
Oh man if BM said that, DH would light up and tell her to get into the car and leave with her.
That's exactly it. She's not
That's exactly it.
She's not better fit. If anything, DH is.
And SD feels more comfortable talking to DH than talking to her barking control freak BM.
But it's exactly like what you said.
DH makes more money and works more so they used his job against him for her to have primary custody.
I know a woman who makes really good money and she got a divorce. Her ex husband was rewarded primary custody because he worked less and made less.
First BM had a decent job. Then she quit and went to something part time. Then she quit all together and hasn't had a job for over a year. She says she's "looking" but posts all over her social media about how she's a SAHM and even told us she's a SAHM by choice.
Of course once we went to court, she sang a different tune. "Oh I'm looking for a job! I just can't find any right now and I'm going to school blah blah blah"
She's changed her degree multiple times. I think she's just going to school for the hell of it to have an excuse to stay home since I'my state, being a "full time student" is grounds for staying home and not be expected to work.
Not kidding.
It's Bs.
That is so fucked up. I've
That is so fucked up. I've always thought that the parent who works more and makes more money is probably the more stable parent, and therefore the parent who should have primary custody. People who are educated and/or have good jobs are often smart and ambitious, and I think those kind of people influence their kids to have the same kind of values and work ethic. This is not always the case, of course, but in situations where there's such a difference in the households, I think primary custody should go to that parent.
I'm biased because of my husband's situation though.
BM here was afraid as the
BM here was afraid as the SK's got older that DH would ask for a CS review because they no longer required day care (although they never really did, because BM never worked, but she sent them anyways I guess). BM started going to school when they were 12 so she could use school as an excuse for not working.
DH never requested a CS review -- yes, he still pays the same CS as he did when they were in daycare (to give you insight.... they've graduated and his CS obligation is OVER in about 5 weeks) and although it's a lot, it's typical for this area.
The part that makes me smirk is the fact that in order to avoid getting CS lowered by going back to school, BM just racked up thousands upon thousands of dollars in student loans. When the SK's graduated from high school this past May, she apparently received her bachelor's degree (in preparation for her lost income in the next couple of months).
So now, she's old (pushing 50) with a bachelor's degree and no work history for the last almost 20 years (prior to that... I believe she was a waitress). She's losing CS, gaining student loan payments, and by the way this economy is her job prospects are not good.
We kept daycare out of
We kept daycare out of support and paid it seperately.
But when we recently went to court, BM said she wanted DH to pay for daycare for SD (who will be 7 soon). SD hasn't been in daycare for two years now and she isn't in daycare now.
BM tried to argue "well she will be in daycare once I "find a job" and will need him to pay".
The judge told her NO. The kid isn't in daycare so he's not going toale DH pay for something that's not happening with the prospect that she MAY have a job in the future. He told her to come back to court if that happens.
BM had a baby with her BF so we suspect she wants DH to pay for her new baby to attend daycare.
Anyway, I agree. BM is just racking herself up in loans with no job experience behind her.
These women are idiots.