trouble in paradise
Long story short: I've been with my husband for 5 years (married 3yrs). We have a 2 year old together and he has a 10 year old daughter from his previous marriage. My step-daughter and I have always gotten along great. Whenever she was having any issues with friends or school she would always come to me and talk with me about them. Her bio-mom is a piece of work, she's constantly calling my husband up screaming at him for this or that (none of it has actual substance. She's also been in trouble with the law recently and has placed my step-daughter in unfit situations. Almost a year ago she decided to file for full custody. My step-daughter's attitude became a little wishy-washy towards me after that (she started not listening to me at times or sometimes wouldn't say "I love you" to me - she's always said it to me). But when things really changed was when her bio-mom found out my step-daughter was calling me "mom". This wasn't something my husband or I had ever asked her to do or forced her to do - this was something she did all on her own. Once her bio-mom found out, when my step-daughter came back over to our house she stopped all together calling me "mom" and stopped saying "I love you" to me (she would sometimes start saying "I love you" to me towards the end of the week). She also started calling me by my first name to my biological daughter (which is hurtful and disrespectful to me and my biological daughter). She doesn't listen to me when I tell her to do something (like brush your teeth) and any time ask her to help me with grocery shopping or something on the weekends she starts bawling saying I never let her play with her friends (even though she's been with them the whole weekend and I"m only asking for an hour of her time). I'm at a loss of what to do - less than a year ago we had a great relationship - how do I get back to that?
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I've decided to remove
Why is calling you by your
Why is calling you by your first name disrespectful? She shouldn't be calling you mom. She has a mom. No matter what kind of mom she is she is still her mom. My stepkids call me by my first name.
Okay, I get the
Okay, I get the disrespectful part, but, if she wants to call her mom then thats up to the SD.
So he has a mom yea? Well I have a dad, yet I call my SD dad too.
M little brother has a dad, yet calls my step dad dad.
My step brother has a mom, but he still calls my mom, mom.
Just because she has a mom doesnt mean she cant call her SM mom too. Sometimes it happens that way
She didn't say that it is
She didn't say that it is disrespectful for SD to not call her Mom.
She said it is disrespectful for SD to call her by her first name when referring to her--when speaking with BD.
Example of this might be.... "ask Kari(random name) for more juice" to BD.
I agree this is disrespectful, she should say "ask your Mom for more juice".
My oldest BS is 3. When SD refers to me by first name when talking to my son he calls me by my first name....though this isn't to big of an issue in my house since my SD refers to me as Mom when talking to my BSs.
I don't think it's
I don't think it's disrespectful for her to call me by my first name, but I don't agree with her telling my two year old biological daughter to "go give this to sarah" rather than asking her to "go give this to your mom". It's unatural. She wouldn't tell her friend to "ask Mike if you can spend the night", but rather "ask your dad if you can spend the night". To me it is disrespectful because she isn't acknowledging that I am the biological mother of my two year old.
I've decided to remove