Go. There will be many other mother's days. He will not get to experience his daughter graduating again. Take her out of the equation. Go because you husband wants you to be there with him.

I will have my second mother's day in a row at college graduation/driving home from an out of state one, so I totally get it. It does stink, but why not plan to celebrate Mother's day with DH and your kids the following weekend or the one prior?

If SD does not invite you, then go see your mom on the actual mothers day.

Ok, thinking outside the box. If DH goes and the SD doesn't invite you but DH wants the kids with him.. could you and your mom go also..but not attend the ceremony and do something mother's day like in the area?

One thing my family has always been good at (My inlaws too) is that we don't get all hung up on celebrating on "the day" My family was pretty small with just my parents and my brother and we weren't close geographically (or really otherwise) with their sides of the family.. so it was easy once my brother and I got coupled up to let us go with our SO's to their family celebrations and work ours around another weekend that worked. My DH's family is the same way.. with two boys with 5 adult kids between them with most married or coupled up (and now 2 great grand kids on the way).. they just set a date when "most of the kids" can make it and just let it go that way. Otherwise with both of their boys divorced and the grandkids having lots of competition for "the day" it's just easier to be flexible.

So.. maybe arrange for a mother's day extravaganza the weekend before or after.. will probably be easier to find places to celebrate and cheaper too..lol

I wouldn't go if I weren't invited and I would let children go regardless because it's not a place for children. It's long and boring and the children will already be miserable from the long drive there. I would tell your DH he is more than welcomed to go but your kids stay with home and IF you aren't invited you stay home too.

That's a tough one. I don't know all the backstory, but it would be a hard choice. My ss let us know that I "might" get an invite to his college graduation, if there were enough tickets. If not, then his new girlfriend would get one instead. OUCH. We had helped him move into his dorm, driven down to see him, I even took him on a college tour myself - ouch, ouch, ouch. Turned out I did get an invite, but noticed when we showed up he had gotten tickets for his mom's lady friend and his high school track coach too, so wtf? Apparently I ranked dead last. But I just kept my mouth shut and went.

In your shoes, if she has not spoken to you, man, I just don't know what I'd do. Probably just go, take a valium or something and think evil thoughts while smiling in her face, lol. Then make sure I schedule a fabulous spa day for myself later for a Mother's day gift. Seriously, if it means a lot to DH and you get an invite, it might be worth it to be the "bigger person" for a day. ugh. Sometimes it seems like the stepmom gig is just one long ouch.

I wouldn't go if SD hadn't spoken to me in 5 years!! Why? Makes no sense. Also, you should not be alone on Mother's Day - would they spend the night somewhere? Even if they didn't 10 hours in a car + the graduation will make the kids cranky.

Your bios need not go - not necessary.

You are in the U.S., correct? If so, that means the graduation is on Saturday. Regardless of which of you actually go, why can't those who attend get up and drive home the next morning in time for a Mother's Day celebration on Sunday afternoon? In my world, that's when most people celebrate (after church) for dinner, and it's not something that takes an entire day. That way, both events can be celebrated. Now, as for who should go, if she hasn't spoken to you in 5 years, then if I were you, I wouldn't expect or want to be invited. If she invites her half-siblings and not you, it will be up to your DH whether to take them.

When my oldest SS graduated, he hadn't spoken to us or visited in about 4 years, but we received an invitation with all of our names on it (written by BM), so we went and suffered through it, even our little guy, who became very fidgety and gave me an opportunity to leave with him and go secure a table at a local restaurant before it was over and after our graduate's name had been called. We initially thought there was a limit on tickets, so only DH and his mom were going to go, which was more than fine with me.

In your instance, you and your DH can decide who's attending after you see the invite. Either way, I don't see that it has to interfere with any Mother's Day celebrations.

ETA: Oh, and when I did confirm I would be going due to there being a ticket, I bought a very classy yet sexy expensive dress, stepped up my workouts and made sure I looked my absolute best!! ha ha

To me college graduations are the most boring things on earth. I've been to way too many. Not only my own, but I've also been the graduation speaker at my alma mater, and I've been on some boards where I was expected to gown up and attend the graduation ceremonies for the university.

I can't imagine there is a child out there who wants to sit through hours of boring talks with hundreds if not thousands of people getting diplomas. Please don't make your children go. Take your children and go visit your mother. You and your children will not be missing a thing.

I'd say, stay at home with your daughters or if you have to go, go with your DH, but purposefully plan not to attend the graduation, instead book a nice hotel, the town must have something fun to do in it, it has a college, while DH attends his daughter's graduation, you go touristing or go get a mani pedi with your daughters, and do some retail therapy.

Been there, done that. SD24 graduated on Mother's Day when my older two boys were 2 and 1. It was also 4 hours away.

WORST...MOTHER'S DAY...EVER!!

Thinking back, I should have made DH go alone. If my boys had been older, I would have let DH take the kids alone, but as it was Mother's Day, I would say whatever I want is the way it should be.

Sorry!! College graduations should NOT be around Mother's Day. Yeah, nice to see your kid graduate on Mother's Day, but those of us stepmothers are not exactly so thrilled. Grrrr.

I went back to college to finish my degree and graduated in 2014 at the ripe old age of ....well let's just say a ripe old age.
Anyway it was long and boring...and it rained on us. If it had been expected to rain it would have been held inside with limited tickets.

In your case I would not go...I would not subject my minor children to the ordeal. If you allow them to go with DH, how will he keep track of them in that crowd of people? What if they need to use the bathroom? Right when the SD's name is to be called. Will he send them on their own or go with them? Think crowds of strange people and unattended little girls. No way.

If I could have I would have stayed home and watched the video of myself graduating. They taped the whole ceremony. Maybe they will do your SD's as well and you can watch it later. Just the highlights. Not the other 499 names being called.

Don't stress about it. You have received an announcement. If an actual invitation arrives inform DH that you have prior plans to spend the weekend with your girls and Mom. Sign a card for the graduate, enclose the check and be done with it. He can go and sit proudly with BM and watch his precious graduate on his own. Really...he was not even invited to the after party for the high school graduation. How nice...just left in the parking lot so to speak waving goodbye. Not my idea of fun.

Really do what you want. Listen to your instincts on this one.