I know that we as steps are usually told that we are going to be 2nd to the kids forever but I honestly don't see it this way. I am still young in age and in the relationship with a great guy and his 5 yr old son but MOST of the time I can honestly say that I don't feel like I come in 2nd place. Sure sometimes I feel awkward and uncomfortable in their presence but it's not because of what my guy is doing it's just me being uneasy and anxious. It's hard for me lots of times too to come to terms with my relationship with my DH and how its different than his relationship with his son. Most of those times especially when I'm feeling insecure I start to panic about my role in his life and whether or not I should stay with them. But I think what we all should focus on is that he picked you! For whatever reason hopefully not just for sex and a caretaker for him and his kids, he has chosen to be with you and not his ex, the mother of his children. And that is a BIG DEAL. There is another woman out there who has given him a child and yet he has chosen not to be with her and chose you instead. It's hard I know...and for those with DH, FH or BFs that are not as supportive and loving as we deserve it is definately harder to be content in the relationship and family dynamic. I think we just really need to dig deep, pray and listen to those that care about us to know whether or not its worth all the pain, stress, discomfort and anger that we all go through simply because of the man we love. As for me, my BF has been absolutely amazing through this process. When he leaves, he gives us both a kiss and a hug, he shows his afffection towards me in front of his son, when we go out and SS is with us he pays for all of us without asking anything from me, he encourages time for SS and I to spend alone together, etc. So, YES it is a difficult role and we do not have the same kind of control of our lives that we would like, and a lot of the time we feel like we're not appreciated for everything we do..but if your man is worth it like I know mine is, then life with him and his son is for sure better than life without them!