It should be both his and the kids responsibilities.

Just tell him to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the nights you are going to be late.

I am writing this with the assumption that you are both disengaged from each others kids.The kids are old enough to cook for themselves or at least find some food so they don't starve. If you have time to call your husband and ask him to cook, then you have time to ask the kids. If no one wants to cook after school/ work then you should have no cook options available. If you want to make it fair then every person in the house over the age of 12 cooks for everyone else one night a week. The remaining nights everyone fends for themselves. If you are running late you can swap your cooking night with someone else for that week or as you say put the slow cooker on on the morning on your day. If the kids need help learning how to cook I am sure they can find some videos on you tube if you do not have the time.

In my house I am engaged with my SD so me cooking in place of my husband would be no big deal. Or he would offer we could get take out if for some reason it was. But then we share the cooking duties pretty evenly anyway.

You're doing a huge disservice to your kids by not teaching them how to cook real food for themselves especially the 18 year old. My mother never taught me how to cook but I learned a few things from my Aunt and grandmother. My SO tolerates my lack luster cooking and my lack of enthusiasm to cook at all. Those kids needs are old enough to use a microwave, oven and stove as well as a dishwasher (my four year skid even helps with that) so you're both right but your target shouldn't be him, it should be the teens.

I think if you're cooking dinner most nights out of the week, he should pony up and fix you dinner the few days you're late. Especially if you're doing the clean up on top of it. If it's about the kids they could fend for themselves on those nights, he should at least make sure you're taken care of.

This is exactly why I refuse to work any more than part time. When I worked full time, I'd come home at 8 or 9 pm sometimes, and SD would still be up, unfed, because he wanted to wait for me to get home (so I could cook it, I guess). He had one day off during the week, he'd refuse to take SD to school, and insist I do it, making her super early for school and me almost late for work. On top of it, the house would be a mess, when I came home, because I did all the housework, yard work, and all the care for SD and ours. I eventually just quit trying to do it all. I think our marriage is much better for it. Sometimes he misses the extra money, I just have to remind him of all the work he'll have to do when he gets home, instead of relaxing, and he comes to his senses.

All the back and forth about disengaging aside, this isn't about cooking for your kids. This is about him starting the evening meal a few nights a week. He may be seeing it as feeding your kids, but in reality, he's feeding the two of you as well.

It seems the two of you need to sit down and discuss the root of the problem. It's not cooking dinner. It's about his resentment over your disengagement and he's giving you tit for tat. It's fine if he wants to disengage as well, but he better get used to eating PBJ on the nights you're late.

So your DH expects your DC to cook his dinner along with all their other chores/homework and after school activity they do.

It sounds to me like your DH wants you and your children to do everything while plays king of the castle.

I would re do you chore list and including your dh in doing those chores.

As for cooking time for a rota so you, your DH, your 16 and your 14 so each of you cook on a weekday.

If the kids are doing all the other chores and you do the lions share of the cooking as I understand it then yeh I think he is being a dick that he can't do something small like go to kitchen and peel a few potatoes or load a tray of food into oven. Esp if it helps everyone get dinner when you are running late and he is eating the same thing. It seems all he wants to do is come home and sit in his man cave drink his beer and do nothing to help around the house. That's a lazy and dick move in my opinion

What I do suggest is you protect you and your own. At the weekend look ahead to the week- if you think you will be late three times have three simple, reheat able meals ready. Teach the kids to reheat their portion. Explain to everyone that on nights you are late they can reheat portions for themselves and clean up for themselves (and only themselves mind- we don't want your husband calling kids down to clean for after his meal if they cleaned after their own. )
Then he can eat or not eat. But if you have to go to this he cleans up his own plates cause he can't have it both ways

All this being said, your husband is an Arse. He is a lazy jerk who is now being forced to actually step up if he wants to be involved with his own children and that is against his philosophy of drinking beer and picking his nose in his man cave. The fact that he is unwilling to help his wife by startin a meal a few days a week speaks volumes to me and should to you too . I would not personally be able to stay with someone so selfish.

I would use this as a catalyst to have a long think about your relationship with this man

I posted on wrong blog. lol

LOL! Damn!! I tried to erase so quick!!!

To OP....

Your DH is being a douche because you will not deal with his kids bad behavior. It will get worse.

Your kids do DHs laundry!! And he can’t start dinner for them. He sounds not only lazy but kind of a jerk.

And fyi --- Some people on here will tell you things like them, their kids, or grandkids walked to school at 3 years old after they cooked the family of 5 breakfast and cleaned the whole house and milked the cows. It is mostly judgmental BS so take it with a grain of salt. You are raising your kids just fine.